Oh Bother...

So, I am feeling pretty down in the dumps today both emotionally and physically. Of course I consulted Dr. Google about the high e2 levels and saw scary things like “diminished ovarian reserve.” So, now I am totally convinced that not only is this IVF cycle going to be cancelled but that I am going to receive a new more horrible diagnosis on top of the PCOS. I looked back at my e2 levels from my IUI/injectable cycle and my day 3 e2 was also high, 105. I read that a normal day 3 e2 level should be below 75 for a non IVF cycle so even the 105 was high. No one ever mentioned that this number was high. So I am a bit concerned. I did call my nurse back and leave a message shortly after we hung up but have yet to hear back from her. It is kind of annoying how you have to wait so long for someone just to call you back with an answer to a question but I understand they are busy. I had a pretty rough day yesterday. My boss was in a pissy mood and once I got the news that we had to postpone starting the stims my day just got worse and worse. I was so looking forward to actually starting this cycle and was optimistic. I told Dh that this is exactly why I don’t get optimistic about things because things always go wrong and then I am disappointed. This is just another example of why being pessimistic works for me as a defense mechanism. So, while I am trying to stay positive I am expecting them to tell me my e2 has not gone down on Friday. I asked the question on a couple of message boards and got absolutely no responses. Leave it to my body to do something weird that no one else has heard of. Last night I started having a lot of pain in my left lower abdomen, like a lot of pressure. I have had diarrhea (sorry TMI) all morning and couldn't finish my breakfast. So on top of all of this I have some sort of stomach issue going on. It is yet another gloomy rainy day outside which adds to my misery quite nicely. Also, it is supposed to rain all weekend thereby making our weekend away at Gettysburg difficult because frankly there isn’t a whole lot to do inside there. So, I guess what I am really saying is that I could use some hugs and soothing words to calm my fears. Anyone offering free hugs? I'm off to see if I can fit my head in the microwave...