Wednesday, April 30, 2008
As for my health, I am slowly starting to feel better. I woke up yesterday feeling better than I had in days. I was happy that I felt better because I was seriously thinking that it wouldn’t be good to put our little one into a sick body. I was able to eat some foods off of my “wish list” (which I will talk about in a minute.) This morning I woke up feeling a little yuckier than yesterday but still better than the past week or so. I feel better now but my chest is the thing that is bothering me the most. I have a really heavy feeling and soreness in my chest like the way you feel after you have been coughing with a really bad chest cold only I haven’t been coughing. I am thinking it has something to do with the fluid that was in my lungs. And, the most annoying thing is I cant button my pants! Now, I am already pleasantly plump to begin with so not being able to button my pants is awful! I thought about getting a bella band but I don’t want to buy anything maternity because I feel it will be bad luck. I don’t want to buy larger pants because I find that if I get larger pants I allow myself to grow into them. So for now I have my pants unbuttoned and a long shirt with another tied around my waist. I am hoping the bloating will go down soon but when they did the u/s yesterday to check the size of my ovaries they were still quite large. Meh..I guess it could be worse.
Lastly, I want to tell you how amazing my wonderful hubby is! He took such good care of me over the past week. He did everything he could to make me feel comfortable and ease my pain. He even cleaned up my throw up when I didn’t make it to the potty (TMI I know.) The OHSS also took a toll on me emotionally and he was there for me then too. I cant even begin to describe the physical discomfort of having everything that belongs in the lower half of you abdomen pushed into your stomach and lungs. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t eat (and still threw up even if I didn’t eat), I really felt like I was choking on my insides. I have a friend at church who has gone through IVF and she called me to see how I was feeling the other day and told me that she had OHSS and how terrible she felt. She told me that she was sure she was dying and that she should be in the ICU (and she is a nurse.) It made me feel better to know that other people have experienced the pain and that she knew what I was going through. While I was sick I made a “wish list” of foods that I wanted to eat as soon as I was able (when you don’t eat for days you start fantasizing about food.) I know it sounds silly but I needed something to look forward to. I had things on my list like cherry tomatoes, pickles, fritos, chocolate covered raisins, and tomato juice, I even put on my list that I wanted to eat a taco salad as my first dinner. Well, my wonderful Dh went to the store yesterday and purchased every single thing on my list and also came home and made me a taco salad for dinner! I was so touched and thrilled that he would do that. I really hope that Doozer sticks around to meet his/her amazing daddy!
Well, that’s about it for now. Thank you all so much for still reading and commenting even though I didn’t check anyone’s blog for days. I apologize for not checking them or commenting. You all are the best!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Wow what a night and start to the weekend. Last night Morrisa was in extreme pain and had a lot of pressure in her upper abdomen and I couldn't take seeing her in that much pain so we agreed that a trip to the E.R. is probably the best thing to do. If anything they could do something for her pain right? So after ultrasounds and hours of waiting to hear from the E.R. doc the verdict was that she had fluid in her abdomen as we suspected from hyper stimulation and she also has fluid in her lungs. We were concerned about her having fluid in her lungs but they spoke with the on call dr at Shady Grove and we can leave and go to Shady Grove in the morning. So at 3:45am we departed for home and left the house this morning at 8am so we could make it to Rockville. She felt sick all night and when she got up this morning vomited a couple times. She also still had a lot of pressure right below her sternum I guess it is (rib cage) and what she said feels like a beach ball in her stomach. They took her right away and did another ultrasound and the dr said that "yes there is fluid but if it were up to him and if we were transferring today he would still go ahead with it." With that said he then told us that they moved our transfer day from today to Monday. He couldn't give us a total number of embies that are still growing but did say that there were quite a few. We have to call first thing tomorrow morning to let them know how she is feeling and we will ask then because we are so curious to know how many of the 10 embies there are remaining. As of a couple hours ago Morrisa was still feeling bad but took something they gave her for her sickness feeling and a vicodin and has been sleeping since. So I will update when I know how she's feeling now and when we hear how many embies we have.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
I woke up yesterday morning already feeling pretty awful, I felt terribly bloated and was in some pain. We arrived at the clinic at about 8:40 a.m. and they called us back at exactly 9:00. They led us back to a room that looked just like a recovery room in a hospital. It had several beds and curtains. They led us to our area which happened to be number one. They gave me a gown, paper booties, and a hair thing and told me to strip down and put everything on and climb into bed. I got dressed in the hot sexy outfit and got into the stretcher which was not very comfortable. Then the anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself and started an IV of what he called Gatorade (like I haven't had enough of that stuff!) I met the nurses and the doctor who would be doing the procedure who was not my usual RE. About ten minutes before we were to begin the procedure they sent me to the bathroom to empty my bladder. Then I went back to my area where they came and got me and told me it was time to go to the OR. I gave Dh a tearful hug and a kiss and told him I loved him and followed the anesthesiologist into the OR which was actually the door almost directly across from my recovery area. The OR was really cold and there were about 3 other people in there. They had me sit on the table and I met the embryologist who verified my name and social. The anesthesiologist came over and put something in my IV which made me feel drunk. Then they told me to lay back and put my legs into the stirrups which were not like your standard RE stirrups that you put your feet into but they actually went underneath your knees. The last thing I remember is them strapping my right arm down and then I was out. I don't remember actually waking up, I just remember Dh already being there sitting next to me. Dh says that he had to keep me from falling back asleep because my eyes kept on rolling in the back of my head. The doctor came in and told me that the left side was very difficult and that they had to do a lot of pushing and that I could expect to be in some pain. I was only in a slight amount of pain at that point but within the next couple minutes I was in a lot of pain. I got some pain meds in my IV which only barely took the edge off of the pain. They said they could give me more but I didn't want to get sick so I said no. The doctor came back in and told us she got 16 eggs and also drained 4ccs of free fluid which could indicate pre-hyper stimulation and that we should watch for symptoms. Dh went down to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription for pain medication and came back up to get me and help me dress. My whole lower pelvis hurts and I am having some strange cramps in my upper stomach and my upper stomach is sore, almost like I did some crunches or something. I was definitely not expecting it to hurt this much. I actually think it hurts worse then when I had my gallbladder removed. Hopefully today's rest will help me feel better. I really admire those of you who have done this more than once! I had no idea how much this whole experience would affect my body.
So now I wait for the fertilization report. I have to admit I am nervous but optimistic because out of 16 eggs you would think some would fertilize right?
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Second, I became terrified of the trigger shot around 8:00 last night. They told me I had to do it at exactly 10:30 so I had to sit around and wait. I got confused about which needle to use to inject it because the RE's instructions weren't very clear. I finally had to call my friend Erin who is an IVF vet and was able to answer my questions and calm my nerves a bit. Then Dh began to freak out. I wasn't freaked out about getting a shot, Lord knows I should be used to being stuck by now, I was freaked out about someone with no medical training sticking that long-ass needle in my..well..ass. I mean surely it would touch the bone, causing me to yelp in pain and jump thereby causing more injury and possibly paralyzing me for life (it did none of these things by the way.) So, when 10:30 rolled around Dh just couldn't do it. I totally blame it on me because I was hysterical with fear and probably caused him to be afraid to hurt me. So I ended up giving myself the trigger shot, I stuck the needle in and had him inject the medication and pull the needle out. I think he felt bad, like he had failed or given up, but really, I totally blame it on myself. So, our first IM needle is done. I told Dh I don't know if I will be able to do the left side though and since we will need to switch sides when we start the PIO he is going to have to try again. The shot wasn't bad, the worst part was sticking it in to the skin, but once it was in I didn't feel it.
I woke up this morning feeling even more uncomfortable than I did yesterday. It is actually uncomfortable to walk. I cried a little this morning because of the uncomfortableness of it all and because despite sleeping I still feel exhausted. I have been drinking Gatorade and Ensure like it is going out of style per the doctor's orders and my nurse told me yesterday to stay away from water. I love drinking water so this is hard for me! I'm not sure I entirely understand why they are insisting on me drinking this nasty stuff but I think maybe it has something to do with keeping me from getting OHSS. I found a really cool video on You Tube showing an egg retrieval
Click Here. I thought it was pretty neat to see the follicles disappear on the u/s. Well, that's about it for now. The next time I update will probably be to tell you how many eggs they got. I might be resting so my amazing dh may make a guest appearance. I love you all and thank you for all of the wonderful comments!
P.s. My poor hubby has been diligently blogging and gets bummed because no one comments on his blog. I told him that he has to comment on other people's blog in order for people to comment on his. He said he does comment on other men's blogs but they don't comment on his and he said while he does read some of your blogs he doesn't know whether it is appropriate to comment and most of the time doesn't know what to say. Any suggestions? I know it can be depressing when you feel like no one is reading your blog.
Monday, April 21, 2008
**Updated** It's official! We will be triggering tonight with ER taking place on Wednesday! I am still waiting for a call from the OR scheduler to tell me the exact time for the ER. I can't believe we got this far! I am beyond excited! FYI- I have 37 follicles which are smaller than the 9 she measured, but I don't know the size. My e2 level was at 3,488! Wish me luck on our first IM shot tonight, I'm scared!! I am also excited because I have several fellow bloggers who will be my cycle buddies, how awesome is that!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Saturday: We went to the RE's office in Annapolis today since our regular RE isn't open on the weekends. They measured about 8 follies (they said they measure only the biggest 8) and they all ranged in size from about 14mm to 16mm. So, it looks like some are taking off and growing and not all 31! I snuck another peak at my e2 level from Friday and it was 800 something. The nurse just called and told me that my e2 went up to 1366 (which she said was fantastic.) She told me to stay on my same dose of meds and come back in tomorrow morning. She said I will now be coming in every day until trigger. I asked her if she knew when I might be triggering and she said they want most of the follies to get to 18 to 20mm so maybe in the next couple of days. So, so far it's good news! We just need to hope that my e2 continues to rise as my follies continue to grow and we should be triggering in the next couple of days with ER sometime next week. I will update tomorrow. Please continue to pray that everything goes smoothly!
Sunday: Today we had lots of nice sized follies with most between 16 and 18 and there was one 20. Again, she only measured 8 so who knows how many there actually are. My e2 jumped again to 2,175 so they cut the Menopur in half this time and kept me at the 50 units of Follistim. I have to go back in tomorrow morning again. I am hoping that I will be ready to trigger tomorrow. To say I am uncomfortable is an understatement! I am very uncomfortable and bloated feeling. I have been drinking a lot more Gatorade like they told me to drink. Hopefully the way I am feeling is normal but since I have never done this before I'm not sure. I am resting and laying on the couch today. I am hoping that everything is going according to plan and no one has given me any indication to be concerned so that's good enough for me. I will update tomorrow.
Friday, April 18, 2008
***Updated*** My nurse just called. The first thing she said was, "did you see how they were able to measure some of you follicles today?" She said that is exactly what they are looking for, some follicles to take the lead and not all 30 of them to go crazy. She said they are going to lower my dose again to 50 units of Follistim and keep the 75 units of Menopur the same. I didn't ask about the e2 level because I didn't want to know. I thought it would create more stress if I knew the number. She said the reason they are decreasing the Follistim again is because they want to feed the dominant follies and not all of the other little ones. I have to go back tomorrow morning for another u/s & b/w. I'm not really sure what to think, I agree with the slow & steady approach and have no problem with them lowering my Follistim dose as long as things continue to grow as they should. I am hoping and praying that my body cooperates but I would like to have more than 4 follies, I'm not even sure that is enough to do an ER. But I have to take one thing at a time and right now my goal is NOT to get cancelled. So I will consider this a small...very small victory. I was already prepared that I would have to go in every day for u/s & b/w but it is good to know that my RE is taking the time to watch me closely and not just blowing me off. I wish this were easier, I wish I could just have a normal cycle, but nothing about my body is normal. I also think that although I might think that other people have "normal cycles" they are just as stressful as my crazy cycle. This is one of those things that is going to teach me to lean on God, my husband, and all of you for support when I just can't do it myself, and I am thankful every single day that I got the chance to meet all of you. Anyway, enough sappy crap, for now I am cautiously optimistic and that doesn't happen very often. I might update this weekend with my u/s & b/w results but I might not, so don't worry if you don't hear from me. Have a good weekend, hopefully the weather wherever you are is just as beautiful as it is here.
P.S. Where is everyone today? No blog updates from most of you, no comments, is there some sort of infertile women convention going on somewhere that I missed?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Also, please stop by and give Erin a hug, she got a negative beta today and could use some support.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
P.S. Thank all of you for letting me wallow in my self pity. Every now and then we all need some time to feel sorry for ourselves and that was my time. I appreciate all of the warm words and prayers. You ladies are the best!
**Updated** I got the official okay to start my stims tonight! We finally get to start! I am so relieved that we finally got past the suppression phase. Lets hope my ovaries respond well to the stims. I will be doing 150 units of Follistim and 75 units of Menopur starting tonight and tomorrow morning I drop the Lupron down to 5 units. I go on Thursday for my first u/s. Hopefully by then the UTI pain will be gone!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Okay, so my nurse never returned my phone call so I called her again this morning. She happened to answer the phone this time though. I told her I was a little concerned about the e2 level being high. I told her what I read on the internet (because you know if you read it on the internet it must be true.) Here is basically what she told me:
* I have PCOS so I have an abundance of follicles so I don’t need to worry about diminishing ovarian reserve.
* They would definitely tell me if I got a bad test result, meaning something to worry about.
* Some people need to be on Lupron longer than others. She thinks that because my lining was still shedding (I still had a very heavy flow up until yesterday) that it was the reason for the higher e2 levels. She said uterine lining can raise the estrogen levels.
* If I go back on Friday and my e2 is still too high they may either increase my Lupron or just have me do the Lupron for a few more days, BUT this is not something that will cause them to cancel my cycle, we will just have to delay it until however long my body takes.
So, with that being said I feel much better. I just have to convince myself not to be too upset if it is still a little high on Friday. So wish me luck tomorrow! Also, we are leaving for Gettysburg tomorrow for a much needed and much deserved mini-vacation rain or no rain.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Anyway, lets get to the real reason you are here reading this entry. I had my Lupron evaluation this morning. It is basically to make sure that the Lupron has done its job and suppressed my ovaries (ie. no big cysts.) My lining is thin, I think she said it was at a 6, and my ovaries are nice and suppressed. In fact, they almost didn't look polycystic at all today. I could hardly see the antral follicles they were so small. So lets hope I am not over suppressed! So, as long as my E2 is nice and low I will start my stims tonight. I will be doing 150 units of Follistim and 75 units of menopur every night and I will be dropping my Lupron down to 5 units starting tomorrow morning. So Dh will get to stick me 3 times which he is thrilled about. So, I have met my first goal for this cycle which was to pass my suppression check. My next goal is to notice some sort of follicle growth on my next u/s which is on Friday morning. Wish me luck!
Monday, April 7, 2008
We went to the viewing on Thursday night. I was okay until everyone left and it was just the family and Dh's grandmother had to say her goodbyes. She kept saying that it would be the last time she would ever see him. We told her no, it would not be the last time, and not to say goodbye but see you later. I told her if she ever wants to see him all she has to do is close her eyes. The funeral on Friday was the most beautiful funerals I have ever been to. I didn't really look behind me to see how many people were there but I am sure it was a lot. We were so exhausted when we got home.
Saturday was Dh's party which turned out wonderful. Hopefully I can post some pictures soon. It was good to see everyone there and have a reason to celebrate. My Dh deserves only the best and it was so nice to see everyone there to celebrate his birthday. I can't even begin to describe what a wonderful husband he is! Happy 30th birthday Shawn!
Well, that's about it for now, I could go on and on but my belly is upset today so I will update later!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
FAMILY UPDATE: Last night was really hard. We wen't over to Dh's grandmother's house and put together some picture boards with pictures of Dh's grandfather to display at the viewing and funeral. I was sticking the pictures to the boards and looking at all of these memories of such an amazing life. Dh's grandmother had a bit of a rough night last night and had a few bouts of tears when we were putting the pictures on the board. She was so tired around 9 p.m. but she wouldn't go to sleep because she didn't want to be up in her bedroom alone. I held in all of my tears until I got home and then I just let go. The viewing is tonight and the funeral is tomorrow. It will be tough, but I will get through it. Right now it is most important to be there for Dh's grandmother and to keep her company when she needs it.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008