Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Well little Noah decided he was ready to come out and wanted to be here for Christmas. We tried to update earlier but the hospitals internet would not let us access our blogs or emails.
Noah was born December 23, 2008 at 11:13am! He weighed 7lbs 2.4 ounces and measured 19 3/4. He is adorable! We will post more pictures later but here is a sneak peak.Both Mom and Noah are doing great and I'm so proud of them both.
I will give more updates about the birth and craziness that occurred, but first Mom and I must rest as we just got home and we are exhausted.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Like I said, there are many more pictures on our babysite so feel free to go on over and check them out.
Baby is doing fine. I had my second growth u/s at 33 weeks and he weighed 4 lbs 14 oz. The doctor told me he is exactly the average weight. So looks like our little monkey isn't going to be a porker after all! I did notice that his head and belly were measuring almost 36 weeks (I was 33 weeks) but his legs were only measuring 31 weeks. I hope he isn't going to be short like me! We could see his pudgy little cheeks and we even got to see that he has hair! Most importantly he is finally head down! We also had the tech confirm for a fifth time that he is a little boy. It still seems so surreal to me that there is an actual baby in there. And that God willing in a few weeks or so we will get to finally bring a baby home. Crazy! I'm finding myself more anxious that something will go wrong the closer it gets. I'm guessing these are normal feelings, especially after IF. I want him to be healthy so bad. I'm also terrified of becoming a mother. I know nothing about babies, the only thing I have ever "mothered" is our cats. But I guess it is something that you learn. I have had 5 NSTs so far and Noah has passed them with flying colors! I have failed all of them (see below for more on that.) I have also noticed that Noah is having the hiccups about 4 times a day. Poor little baby! He even has them during my NSTs sometimes. Too cute!
I have been feeling pretty good up until about two weeks ago. I was just bragging about how great I feel. Over the past two weeks or so I am feeling totally exhausted again. I am also feeling a lot of pressure down low, especially when I walk or stand. I have also been having some contractions during my NSTs which causes them to keep me on the monitor for an hour each time (thought these things were only supposed to be 40 minutes?) I have only been having about 5 or 6 contractions an hour but they are not in a regular pattern. They have done an internal each time and I was not dilating until my last NST/internal on Friday. He told me I was dilated to 1 cm! I wasn't dilated just two days before so he sent me home from work on the off chance that the contractions I was having during the NST were causing me dilate. I had contractions all day Friday and was starting to worry when they finally let up in the evening. I rested all day on Saturday and the tried to resume my normal activities on Sunday and the contractions started again. It seems that when I walk of stand for even a little while they start up again. The thing is, I am confused about whether they are BH or the real thing. They are slightly painful but not bad at all, the tightening stops me in my tracks though. My hands are now starting to swell and I have begun to suffer from what I guess is carpal tunnel. My fingers on my right hand are numb and my wrist hurts. The swelling in both hands makes my knuckles hurt really bad and makes it hard to do much with my hands.
I feel like such a lazy bum! I am so busy at work that when I get home I am exhausted and do nothing but lay on the couch. Shawn has been so great! He is trying really hard to do what I ask, although I know I am picky and hard to deal with sometimes. I am so blessed to have him as a husband and I know he will be a great Dad!
All in all, I am blessed to be where I am and I will never ever forget it. I will also never forget all of you still in the trenches. I think about you often and keep you in my prayers. I know the holiday season can be hell on earth for someone going through IF. Remember, I was there for quite a few years. My advice, do what you have to do to get through it. Don't do anything that makes you miserable. Take this time to think about yourself first. This may not be what most would tell you but sometimes you have to be selfish.
Well, it's back to work for me. I have another Dr's appt and NST at 10:45 today so lets see if I can manage to NOT be sent home from work!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
We also started our childbirth classes. We have had two classes so far and for the most part it is stuff I already knew. We do get to spend some time practicing relaxation techniques every class which involves me laying on the mat with pillows and Shawn giving me a massage! That is my favorite part of the class. On Monday we did the hospital tour I am so glad we did. Out hospital is awesome! The labor/delivery room is really nice! It looks like a hotel room and even has a flatscreen tv! The postpartum room is even nicer and also looks like a hotel room. We even got to peek into the nursery and saw some newborn cuties! The hospital was nothing like I expected it to be. I expected it to be stark and white like you see on tv. The lighting is low and it has wood floors and wallpaper on the walls. Very nice, modern, and relaxing.
Now on to the pictures! My FIL painted my belly for Halloween:
And he also had a little helper.
And here is the finished product with some random stuff on top.
Here is the crib.
And here is the crib with the bedding! So cute!
The nursery is far from complete. We still have all of the little decorative items which we will receive at our big shower this Saturday. We are so excited! Like I said, there are many more pictures on our babysite so head on over and check it out!
The chances of me being able to post before the weekend is slim. After this week the "big case" should settle down and hopefully things will be back to normal soon. If I don't post before Saturday I guarantee I will be back with lots of lovely pictures from the shower!
Monday, October 27, 2008
- All continues to go well with baby Noah. He is most active at night and still breech with his head just under my ribs on the left and feet firmly lodged into my bladder. I REALLY want him to turn! It is much easier for others to feel him kick when he isn't kicking my bladder. For now though it seems he likes this position. Lets just hope he decides to turn before the big day!
- The last couple times I have went to the doctor I have been measuring two weeks ahead. I have another doctors appointment so we will see if I am still measuring ahead. The funny thing is in the last two weeks I haven't gained any weight at all. The doctor isn't concerned though so neither am I.
- We had our first growth u/s on Thursday. All looks well and baby was measuring 2 lbs. 14 oz. and was measuring 27w5d which was actually a couple days behind. I will ask my doctor but I don't think it is a big deal for him to be measuring a few days behind.
- I have been having some serious indigestion and heartburn over the past two weeks which is making it difficult to follow my diet because the things I am supposed to eat give me heartburn. For example, I have found that if I eat anything other than eggs and some sort of meat for breakfast my sugar goes up. However, I have been unable to eat eggs because they give me terrible heartburn. I'm not talking about mild heartburn and indigestion, I'm talking about pain and pressure so severe in my chest that it travels into my neck and jaw and makes me feel like I'm having a heart attack. This usually is the worst at night which makes it very difficult to sleep. I have been taking the Zantac and I am up to two pills a day and I am only supposed to take one a day. Even the two a day isn't enough and I am miserable half the day. I have an appointment today at 11:30 and I'm going to ask the doctor if there is another medication I can take. The only thing my tummy can tolerate is bread which is a big no no for me.
- It is less than a month until my shower and I am so excited! I actually hate baby showers (what infertile doesn't) but I guess because this one is for me it is different. I just cant wait to see everyone and celebrate our little one and I can wait to see all of the cute items that we get for him. Shawn's close family is having a private shower for us also because they said they bought too many items and didn't want to make the guests of the big shower sit through me opening all of their gifts. I'm a little behind on finishing the diaper cake centerpieces so I will be working hard on them this week so that we can decorate them.
- We have done absolutely nothing to get our house ready for the baby yet. The nursery is still currently a storage room and the "litter box room." It's just one of those things that I was afraid to do for fear of "jinxing" myself. But now I realize it's time to get moving. We will need to have a spot to store all of our shower goodies soon. So this weekend we will empty the room and shampoo the carpet. We don't really have anything to put in there yet. We are still waiting for the crib which should be in in the next couple of weeks. We have a changing table that we are sanding down to stain to match the crib and we still have to purchase a dresser. Seems like we have so much to do!
- I have some belly pictures but I have to get them off the camera. I also plan to take before/after pictures of the nursery.
That's really all I have for now. When I look at my ticker and see that I only have 79 days until my due date I begin to freak out a bit! I will update again today after my doctor's appointment.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Last Friday Shawn and I got an unwelcome surprise in the form of a knock on our front door at 6a.m. It was our neighbor to tell us that his car and ours had been broken into over the night. They didn't steal anything from our neighbor's car but they did however steal our digital camera which we stupidly left in the car. I was so upset! It wasn't a cheap camera, it was a $600 camera! It still had the pictures from our day trip as well as several belly pictures. Images that I will never get back again. We did file a claim with our homeowners insurance but we have a $500 deductible so we only got less than $100 back for the camera. So now we have no camera at all! Luckily, MIL will let us borrow her small digital camera. All in all, I'm glad they didn't break into our house but it still pisses me off!
Well, that's about it for now!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I also found out my shower date is November 22nd! I am so excited! My MIL let me look over the guest list and she is inviting about 70 people! My bridal shower was huge and it was loads of fun so I am sure the baby shower will be the same. Someone or several someones have already purchased our entire nursery set! I told my MIL that the shower doesn’t need to be co-ed but I want it to be a shower for both Shawn and I. I want Shawn to be a part of it because it is just as much his baby as it is mine. Plus, if there is going to be 60-70 people there I will need help opening gifts. I also told my MIL that I will help her make the center pieces. She is planning on doing a diaper cake with a different theme for each of the tables. She showed me the invites (there isn’t much about this shower that is a surprise but that’s the way I wanted it) and they are Noah’s Arc theme, too cute! I suggested the diaper lottery as a game (each person bring a pack of diapers and enters their guess for the birth date and wins a prize if they get it right) but my MIL wants to do the thing where you ask people to bring books instead of cards. I would much rather have the diapers than the books but she is planning the shower so I didn’t say anything. Either way it will be great and I love to read so I will have lots to read to the baby.
Shawn and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary on September 14th. That also marked 6 years since we began trying to have a baby. We didn’t really do much to celebrate and we never get each other gifts. We did take a day trip this Saturday and that was nice. First we went to Arlington cemetery and took some pictures of some of my family member’s graves for my family tree. Then we went to Mt. Vernon (the place where Washington lived and is now buried) and toured the house and the grounds. It was nice to get out of the house for a change. This weekend will be an in the house weekend though because our house is a mess due to my laziness and needs a serious cleaning! We also need to start emptying out Noah’s room to shampoo the carpets and clean out the closet so when the furniture arrives we will have somewhere to put it. Right now the room serves as storage and the “litter box room.”
Well, that’s about it for now, I wish I had more to say. I will definitely try to post more often. If you could, let me know you are still reading so I know I still have some readers out there somewhere!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
This first one is a picture of his "boy parts." It was much clearer when they were showing it on the screen but you get the idea.
This one is a picture of his face looking forward. You can see his little eye sockets and nose.
This one is a picture of his little legs and feet. You can see his thigh to the right of your screen and his little ankle and feet to the left. Too cute!
This one is one of my favorites! This is a picture of one of his little legs and foot. He was hugging the placenta like a pillow and if you look closely you can see his little fingers too!
This is a profile shot. Hopefully this one is self explanatory.
This is another profile shot. If you look closely you can see that his mouth is slightly open almost like he is smiling, you can also see a little leg too!
Here is one more profile shot of the little one with his arm above his head.
What else can I say ladies, I am so in love!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I’m feeling okay other than the back issues which I expect to have throughout the whole pregnancy. I have been feeling baby Noah kick stronger and stronger. Since about 19 weeks it went from teenie tiny taps to thumps. I still can’t feel him from the outside but I can’t really be sure because he never kicks in the same spot twice. He is a busy bee! I can’t wait until Shawn can feel it! It is the most amazing feeling in the world and I am in awe every single time that there is a living being inside of me. It feels so odd to feel something moving inside of you. I also think he likes to sleep curled up on the left side because I can often feel stretching or tightening on the left side and then I will have a small hard lump on my left side.
As far as the GD goes my sugars have been running a little high for my fasting sugars and also the one after breakfast. I saw my OB on Friday and he bumped up my insulin in the evening and also added 5 units to the mornings right before I eat. So now I am up to 2 shots a day. Not fun but I’m not complaining because I am thankful that everything else seems to be going well. I have to get a special ultrasound done on September 10th called a fetal echo. I believe it is an ultrasound specifically to look at the baby’s heart. The reason I have to get the ultrasound done is because of the GD. I am hoping that they look at other parts of the baby as well because I really want some updated pictures and a confirmation that he really is a boy since our “big” ultrasound was nothing but a “big” disappointment. I will feel much better when I know all is well with his heart because he has never been in a favorable position for them to check out his little heart.
I had my first (and hopefully last) unexpected visit to the L&D at 19w6d. I began having some tightening pains throughout the day that were becoming increasingly painful. I called my OB around 4:30 and they said that because they were about to close I had to go to L&D. They hooked me up to a contraction monitor and although I could continually feel the pains nothing at all was showing up on the monitor so I have no idea what the pains were and I haven’t had them since. They also did an internal (I HATE these things, they are painful as hell!) which showed my cervix was still nice and closed. They did a quickie u/s just to check the baby’s heartbeat. I didn’t get to see anything except for cute little feet and a beating heart. The most annoying part of the whole visit was waiting in the waiting room with a young couple who had to be the most annoying people in the world. I didn’t feel good and really didn’t feel like “chatting it up” with a pregnant college co-ed and her annoying boyfriend. She was there because her “calves hurt.” The boyfriend was asking us all kinds of questions and it took everything I had to not tell them to take their fertile asses over to the corner and leave me the hell alone. They acted like they were on a trip to the zoo or something, “oh, look at this” “look at that.” In the end I’m glad it all turned out fine and I hope that the next time I am there is not until baby is ready to come out.
I also found myself on “the other side of the fence” recently. It wasn’t so long ago that the sight of a pregnant woman would send me into an emotional tailspin and unfortunately I was the source of someone else’s pain recently. Shawn and I met some friends at the Fair a couple of weeks ago and Shawn’s friend’s wife’s sister (you got that all that right?) When we were walking around the sister suddenly burst into tears and rushed off. We had no idea why she was upset and I didn’t find out until about a week later. Apparently the sister and her husband were recently told that the only way they could have a baby was to do IVF. I don’t know the specifics but I do know it had something to do with her husband. Apparently my pregnancy made her upset and she had to rush off. No one in her family knew anything about them having problems conceiving and didn’t find out until they questioned her about why she was upset. It made me sad to know that my pregnancy could cause someone else pain. I guess I just always assumed that somehow because it took us so long that people would automatically know. Maybe I should get a tattoo or wear a shirt?
Lastly, we finally ordered our nursery furniture. We went back up to the Amish store and ordered it. It is made of oak and will be hand made just for our little one! They said it will be ready in 10-12 weeks which I think is perfect timing.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
We registered on Saturday! It was way more overwhelming than I expected. Mainly in the feeding department. There are so many choices about which bottles to use that we got totally confused. We ended up scanning all of the ones we liked and then going home and reading the reviews and narrowing it down.
I also noticed that registering brought out all kinds of assvice from people I didn’t know. One woman saw me looking at slings in BRU and told me that a sling is a waste of money because her baby didn’t like it. I just smiled and nodded and scanned the sling. Just because her baby didn’t like it doesn’t mean mine won’t. Another lady came up to me and told me I MUST get this specific type of stroller. Again I just smiled and walked away. I mean seriously, am I the only person who doesn’t feel comfortable going up to strangers and telling them what to do? All in all it was a fun experience but I’m still not sure if we picked the right items. I figure we have some time yet before people start buying things off of the registry so we can make changes if we need to. If anyone has any free time and is interested in checking out our registries and letting me know what you think I would be grateful. You can go on BRU’s website and also on Baby Depot’s website and search “Morrisa Vollmerhausen” and you should find our registries. I’m not looking for anyone to lecture me about why I shouldn’t use a sling, or that a swing is a waste of money because your baby didn’t like it. I know all babies are different and my baby may hate something that someone else’s loved, or the other way around. What I am looking for is whether I missed anything, something that you used a lot that I didn’t think of, whether there is a particular type of product that I have on there that you had problems with…etc. I will leave you with a few specific questions about the registry and a question about doctor’s appointments.
-Breast pump- rent or buy?: I put two different breast pumps on the registry because I wasn’t sure which one I liked better but they are so expensive! The chances of anyone actually buying it off of the registry is pretty slim. So we will probably end up paying for one ourselves. My question is, is it better to rent one from the hospital or buy one? If we do end up renting one will I still need all of the accessories we registered for? Did I miss any accessories? For instance, they had nipple shields there, do I need that? What is the best type of storage for breast milk, there were so many different options? HELP!
-Bottle sterilizer or dishwasher?: For some reason I was under the assumption that you could wash bottles in the dishwasher, is this not true? We registered for a bottle sterilizer but do we really need it?
- Which type of bottle is best?: We registered for three different types of bottles, one we liked because it said it was like the breast but it didn’t have drop-ins and wasn’t BPA free as far as I can tell. We also registered for the Playtex drop-ins because I figured they would be easier to clean and I would only need to clean the nipples and could maybe even store the breast milk in the bags? The last ones were the Medula bottles that were the same brand as the pump. Any suggestions? What worked best for you or what did you register for?
- When did you start feeling definite stronger movements? I’m getting impatient! I’m still only feeling little flutters and very infrequently, really only once a day.
- Lastly, why do you need to be seen more often once you hit 27 weeks? What do they do that is different at those appointments as opposed to what they do now (Check HB, weight, BP, urine)?
I’m sure I have more questions but that is all I can think of for now. My next post coming up may be what I think about the contestants in the Big Brother House so far. Do I have any Big Brother fans reading?
P.S. 19 weeks tomorrow! I can’t believe we are almost ½ way there!
P.S.S. My one year blogoversary is in 5 days!!!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
-They wouldn’t let Shawn come in the room with me! What ultrasound tech does not let the husband and father of the child in the room during the ultrasound?
- The tech was rude and very hard to understand with a thick accent. He was very to the point, didn’t describe anything he was doing unless I asked. He did things so quick and went zooming around I had no idea what was what.
- The ultrasound machine must have been manufactured in 1950 and the picture was so blurry I couldn’t even make anything out.
- The baby was sitting straight up, butt down facing my spine. Not my fault the position he is in, I guess he likes that position. He was in a similar position last time only he was facing forward. The tech repeatedly said things like “this baby is not cooperating” or “this baby is difficult.” First of all, this is the first time I became a bit defensive, don’t call my child “this baby,” makes him sound like some sort of animal or sub-human. He doesn’t know he is supposed to be posing for an ultrasound for crying out loud! He kept on saying “this is a difficult examination” and “I am not pleased.” We couldn’t get the baby to turn. He asked me to get up and walk around to see if he will turn. I told him I would but I didn’t think he would turn. He asked why and I told him because if this is my child he will be stubborn and if that’s where he wants to be then he will stay there until he decides to move, and I was right, he didn’t budge. I don’t blame him, the tech was pressing so hard on my belly I was crying out from pain. So basically the tech gave up. He measured a few things which all measured right on track (not because he told me but because I watched the calculations on the screen.) I asked him if he could peek between the legs and confirm it is a boy and he said the baby wasn’t in a good position. Hello? He had just got done taking a picture of his legs sticking straight out, but he couldn’t look between them? I asked him if he could at least try and he said no.
- He continually told me that 18 weeks is too early to do the ultrasound because the baby is too small. I told him he would have to talk to my doctor who put the order in for the u/s to be done between 16 and 18 weeks.
At the end he told me we could call Shawn in for a minute “but there is really nothing to see because ‘this baby’ isn’t cooperating.” So I said yes please call him in while I was trying to refrain from throwing the u/s monitor at his head. When Shawn came in the tech asked me if I was going to explain the “situation” to him. There was no “situation,” the baby was just not in a good position so we have to come back, no big deal. So he told us we have to come back in 4 weeks. So when I see my doctor on Friday I have to ask him to put another order in. And you better believe that I am not going back to that center or that tech and I will let me doctor know what an ass this guy was and how the policy to not allow my husband in the room makes no sense.
So anyway, we have no pictures because he wouldn’t give us any and the quality sucked anyway. But, I am not as upset as I would have been had we not had the earlier ultrasound. The tech at the Genetic Center said she was positive it was a boy so until we get our next u/s at 22 weeks we will assume it is a boy. I’m still registering on Saturday though. If for some odd reason it turns out to be a girl we will just switch the gender specific items on the registry to girl items. I’m actually kind of proud of our little baby, shows that he is stubborn just like his Mommy and doesn’t take crap from anyone. I was actually hoping he would give the tech the finger! So, no miraculous amazing big u/s story from me, but the important thing is that he is still in there, heart beating away, measuring right on track. I’m not really concerned about any issues with him structurally because the Genetic Center u/s was very detailed and everything was fine there. That’s all for now folks. If you have any advice for registering I’d be happy to hear it.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
So, I suppose you are wondering whether we were able to get a look at the goods huh? We got a quick peek at first and then baby crossed its legs. After I got up to go pee the legs opened back up and we were able to get a pretty good look at the goods. And…I was right, we have ourselves a baby boy! We saw his little baby “pee pee” and are pretty confident it is a boy. The tech said it was definitely a boy so hopefully she is right. We still have our big u/s for the 11th so we will double check then. So, without further ado, let me introduce our little miracle Noah Michael Vollmerhausen.
Front view (alien picture)
The “money” shot (this one is not of the "pee pee" itself, just his little "jewels".
We picked the name Noah because we just like the name. The name Michael is special to us both because Shawn and his dad’s middle name is Michael and my father’s name was Michael.
We did tell our parents the sex and we will tell our grandparents tonight then we will tell everyone else in the family/friends.
Thank you a million times over for all of your love and support. The past couple of days have truly been some of the roughest days in my life. I am a believer and I know that God would never give us more than we can handle and I will love this baby no matter what. Hugs and kisses to you all and let me know what you think of the name!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
I have a co-worker who we will call Nark. Meaning she squeals on everyone for everything. I had previously provided her a link to my old blog which I have since deactivated so that when you visit it it will direct you to this blog. I also disabled the old blog so that you cannot find it by searching since I knew people might be searching for my blog since the article referenced the name but didn’t link to the blog. (Hopefully I’m making sense so far.) So, to make a long story short Nark had been visiting my blog every day since the article came out. How do I know? For one I knew by checking my Site Meter, for two, I know because she said something to my co-worker about one of blog entries being “tmi” (the one about my swollen parts.) I mean it is a pregnancy site right? I didn’t say anything because I knew that since the article was out everyone I knew would be able to find my blog if they cared to do so. So, on Friday afternoon Nark comes into my office and tells me that one of the partners is surfing my blog (gee I wonder who forwarded them the link?). While I didn’t think they would be interested I wasn’t too concerned. Then the partner I work for calls me into his office and tells me that they are concerned about my internet use because some of the timestamps on my blog and during work and non-lunch hours. I explained to him that the timestamps are incorrect because some of them say 5 a.m. and I am never up that early. He insisted that I must be blogging during work time and that they don’t even want me blogging at all on their computer because I am “publishing something.” I told him that wasn’t fair because what about other people who went on MySpace and posted at work? He said “blogging is different.” I told him while I agree that I shouldn’t be blogging on work time (and I never was) I don’t think it is fair to monitor what I do during my lunch with making my blog a specific target and not anyone else. He agreed that I could blog on my lunch and before work. I left feeling pretty ticked off that they would peruse my blog for the purpose of trying to find something that I may have done wrong. Then when I got home I checked my Site Meter because I was curious about how long they spent on there and what they were looking at. I found that they had been on my blog for over 2 hours, read almost every single post including the comments, AND did a search for the word “boss.” I was really pissed by this point. I really felt like they were looking really hard to find something to implicate me in some way. I was hurt that they accused me of blogging on company time and wouldn’t even consider the fact that the time stamps might be wrong. I am sure that Nark directed them to my blog with the sole intention to get me into trouble. I was hurt that I forwarded the article to everyone I knew because I was proud and they turned it around and used it to try to get me into trouble. So, I decided to go invite only. It has never been brought up again and I am over it for the most part. And can you believe that Nark had the nerve to ask me for an invite? So anyway, that is why I went invite only so that my job does not continue to use the blog as an investigation tool.
Anyway. I have been doing okay. I am 15w2d today! I had been having some pain in my lower pelvic area for a couple of days and suspected it might be a UTI so I headed over to the OB on Thursday. Sure enough I was right. So now I am taking antibiotics to clear that up. It feels better but not totally better yet. I am also having some pretty painful RLP. My doctor also commented about my swollen ankles again on Thursday. My ankles have been swelling every single day. My blood pressure was great so at least we don’t have to worry about that for now. She did say that with the PCOS I am at higher risk for preeclampsia and so she wants me to do the 24 hour urine test this weekend. The thought of peeing in a jug and keeping it in my fridge totally grosses me out. I’m kind of confused as to why she wants me to do the test but something about finding a baseline. She also had to bump up my evening insulin from 20 to 25 because my morning sugars are getting high again. All of this combined sent me into kind of a panic mode Thursday night. I was angry at my body because of the PCOS and how even now that I am pregnant I can’t be “normal.” It made me terrified to think of everything that could go wrong. I don’t trust my body at all and that scares me. I’m scared that the swelling is somehow an omen that my blood pressure will get out of control at some point. I love this baby so much and I am doing everything in my power to keep it safe and healthy. I am dealing with this horrible diabetes diet that forces me to eat things I don’t like, I am sticking myself in the stomach every single night and will continue to have to do so until I deliver, I am following everything the doctor tells me to do. Still I don’t trust my body. I just wanted to be a normal pregnant woman but I can’t even do that. I am not complaining, I promise. I know how incredibly blessed I am to be here. I also know that God had a hand in creating this baby and I can only hope and pray that He will help me keep it safe.
Anyway, I guess that is about it for now. I really hope you all continue to comment and read even though I have gone invite only and I hope that you understand why I felt I had to do so. I love each and every one of you and want to thank you for all of your love and support, I could never do this without you.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Now on to the assvice portion of my post. Here is a little background first: I am well aware of what I am not supposed to eat and drink during pregnancy. I have spoken to my doctor and I feel confident eating turkey sandwiches from my favorite deli because I am familiar with them and have been eating there for a while. I also allow myself one caffeinated drink per day. the reason I do this is because I cannot have anything with sugar like sprite or anything that doesn't have caffeine. I LOVE diet soda and since I can't have any sweets which I also love I treat myself and allow myself to have one diet soda a day. So, at this party I was enjoying my diet Pepsi for the day. A lady comes up to me later on (someone I don't even know) and starts out by saying "I was deciding on whether I should say something to you or not..." We all know as soon as someone utters those words that means that they are going to spew useless information and assvice that is none of their business. So while I has the urge to advise her that she shouldn't say anything if she had to think about whether it was appropriate to say it I kept my mouth shut. She proceeded to tell me how I shouldn't be drinking caffeine while I am pregnant and when she saw me drinking the diet soda she was "concerned." I explained to her (I really didn't need to explain but I did anyway) that I had discussed it with my doctor and that I was allowing myself to have one caffeinated drink a day. I mean seriously, maybe if I was drinking a beer or something she may have had a right to say something, but I just really thought it was odd. So I guess that makes me a horrible Mommy for drinking on caffeinated drink a day, for shame!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
"Screw them. There are too many people in the world as it is. " I'm not even sure this deserves a response.
"If they're leaving it in God's hands to carry the pregnancy full-term, then why did they choose to have science intervene to get pregnant in the first place?" Not sure how these relate to each other. I was always leaving everything to do with our IF and treatments in God's hands. However, leaving it in God's hands does not mean that we can't pursue treatment created by doctors who are created by God. With this type of logic should we choose to forgo all medical treatment (cancer treatment, surgery, etc.) to leave it in God's hands? If I get an infection should I leave it in God's hands to clear it up instead of taking the medication?
"Perhaps infertile couples should get a clue and take their infertility as a sign that they weren't meant to have biological babies." This is ridiculous. I do not believe that infertility should be taken as a sign that someone is not meant to be a biological parent.
"Then they could pour the same amount of time, money and effort into adopting a needy kid or animal." WHAT? Are you suggesting I go and adopt a puppy? You can't be serious. I'm an animal lover but it is not the same thing. As for adopting a child, I have nothing against adoption. In fact, we almost went with adoption instead of IVF. I wish people read up on adoption before they go suggesting it as an alternative to infertility treatment. Adoption is an expensive and long process as many of you know, it is not a decision to be made lightly. Plus, why do these people care what I do with my time, money or effort? If they think there are so many needy kids out there maybe they should "just adopt" as well.
"These people are incredibly selfish." Hmmm...are we selfish because we spent all of our savings, went through years of testing and procedures, shots, heartaches, all to bring a child into the world? To me that seems like one of the most selfless things that someone can do. Come and talk to me again when you have had the pleasure of submitting yourself to countless embarrassing physical exams, giving yourself injections in the a$$ every single night, etc., all for the love of a child that you have never met. Then you have a right to judge.
"Well, if a baby is going to solve all these people's woes then I feel bad for the kid and all the pressure that's already being put on it." Not sure where the article said this. Obviously becoming pregnant won't solve all of our woes. But part of this statement is true. We have an amazing marriage, a wonderful family, two beautiful kitties, a nice house, jobs...etc. The only thing missing in our lives is a baby. There is no pressure, baby is already loved more that he/she could ever imagine.
"Sometimes nature, God, whatever higher power you believe in is trying to tell us something, and I think that something is that not all humans are meant to breed." Yes, lets hope this person does not breed.
"The fact that we are now obsessing over getting preggers and blogging about every neurotic thought or medical procedure speaks volumes about how empty some folks lives really are." Can I tell you how much I hate the word preggers? Sounds like something a 13 year old would say.
"We are not on this planet just to procreate, and parenthood is not going to solve all these people's problems in life. It's kinda scary and sad." Once again, not sure where he/she/it got the idea that parenthood would solve all of our problems.
Now I feel better. Once again, I knew that this would draw some negative comments and that's okay. We all have a right to our opinion, no matter how pigheaded it may be. I just hope that somewhere out this article touched someone today, and helped them know that they aren't alone. If it did it was worth it to me.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
This is your Mommy. You probably can’t hear my voice quite yet but I read that in the next couple of weeks you will be able to hear me talking! I already talk to you a lot anyway though. Mommy is so excited to finally be in the second trimester! Mommy has been trying to read a lot of books and information to learn all about you and how you are growing. Mommy is also trying very hard to take good care of herself and be healthy and strong. The doctor tells Mommy that she has gestational diabetes which means that Mommy has to be careful what she eats, monitor her blood sugar, and give herself an insulin shot every night. Don’t worry though, Mommy is used to giving herself shots (wait until Mommy and Daddy tell you all they went through to get you here) and it doesn’t hurt.
Mommy and Daddy listen to your little heartbeat every single night. It is the highlight of my day and I look forward to it all day. Your little heart beats so fast, it sounds like a galloping horse! Mommy especially loves to hear you kick with the Doppler. It makes Mommy & Daddy giggle to hear you kick and move around. Mommy can’t feel your kicks yet but I am sure waiting for that moment. Every once in a while I try to sit really still and see if I can feel any “flutters” but I haven’t felt anything yet. That’s okay though, it’s still early and in the next few weeks Mommy will hopefully begin to feel you move.
I can’t wait for you to meet your Daddy. I know you are going to love him! Daddy puts his hand on my belly every morning and every night and tells you how much he loves you. Your Daddy is the most amazing man, a wonderful husband, and I know he will be an amazing father. He takes such good care of me and you. Your Daddy has the most gentle and kind touch and strong loving arms that I know will hold you tight whenever you need it. Your Daddy is so silly and full of life, just like big kid! Daddy makes Mommy smile and giggle when she needs it and I know he will do the same for you. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if your first smile is reserved especially for your Daddy!
Mommy has been thinking a lot about whether you are a boy or a girl. Just a few more weeks until we can find out! Mommy and Daddy think you are a boy (just a feeling) but we don’t care either way. We will be happy no matter what! Just continue to grow healthy and strong. Little miracle, there are so many people who already love you and can’t wait to meet you. Please continue to grow healthy and strong so you can come and meet your Mommy & Daddy who have waited so long for you! I love you!