And we wait...

…again. I went to visit the Re’s office AGAIN this morning. My lining is thicker (she didn’t tell me the measurement nor did I really care) and I have 4 measurable follies, 3 at 10mm and one at 11 mm and of course a bazillion little buggers. But, all in all I am uninterested in the u/s results at this point, it’s the b/w results that really matter. I did however take a peak at my chart which they left up on the computer screen while I was getting dressed (okay, really I stood there with no pants while I perused the chart but whatever.) What did I find out you ask? Well, I found out that I have had 8 completed IUIs with them and who knows how many cancelled cycles, but, the most interesting thing I found out is that when my nurse called on Monday to tell me that my e2 dropped “low enough” what she really meant was that it dropped to 64, which is only 3 points lower than the time before. I’m interested in this because they told me it needed to drop below 50 before I could start stims because then I could possibly overstim. Hmmm…could that be the reason my e2 skyrocketed? I’m not sure what happened, maybe the doctor just decided that it had dropped low enough, maybe he just decided that I am such a hopeless case that there was no point in waiting, I’m not sure but I am going to ask when they call. I do trust my doctor to make the right decisions so I am sure he had a good reason. So, the bottom line is I have no idea what the future holds for this cycle, I have no idea if I am on the brink of being cancelled or if adjustments can fix the e2 issue. I suppose the only thing left to do is wait for the call. I am hoping that the fact that a few follies seem to be growing bigger than the others is a good sign, meaning that they all aren’t growing at the same rate but I really have no idea. I hate the fact that I can’t control this, I am such a control freak and this is killing me! I will update when I hear the news…whatever it may be.

***Updated*** My nurse just called. The first thing she said was, "did you see how they were able to measure some of you follicles today?" She said that is exactly what they are looking for, some follicles to take the lead and not all 30 of them to go crazy. She said they are going to lower my dose again to 50 units of Follistim and keep the 75 units of Menopur the same. I didn't ask about the e2 level because I didn't want to know. I thought it would create more stress if I knew the number. She said the reason they are decreasing the Follistim again is because they want to feed the dominant follies and not all of the other little ones. I have to go back tomorrow morning for another u/s & b/w. I'm not really sure what to think, I agree with the slow & steady approach and have no problem with them lowering my Follistim dose as long as things continue to grow as they should. I am hoping and praying that my body cooperates but I would like to have more than 4 follies, I'm not even sure that is enough to do an ER. But I have to take one thing at a time and right now my goal is NOT to get cancelled. So I will consider this a small...very small victory. I was already prepared that I would have to go in every day for u/s & b/w but it is good to know that my RE is taking the time to watch me closely and not just blowing me off. I wish this were easier, I wish I could just have a normal cycle, but nothing about my body is normal. I also think that although I might think that other people have "normal cycles" they are just as stressful as my crazy cycle. This is one of those things that is going to teach me to lean on God, my husband, and all of you for support when I just can't do it myself, and I am thankful every single day that I got the chance to meet all of you. Anyway, enough sappy crap, for now I am cautiously optimistic and that doesn't happen very often. I might update this weekend with my u/s & b/w results but I might not, so don't worry if you don't hear from me. Have a good weekend, hopefully the weather wherever you are is just as beautiful as it is here.

P.S. Where is everyone today? No blog updates from most of you, no comments, is there some sort of infertile women convention going on somewhere that I missed?