Friday, July 25, 2008

15w2d

Hello there! I bet you thought I fell off the face of the earth? Nope, I’m still here and all is well. I guess I owe an explanation as to why I had to go invite only huh? It had nothing to do with the comments we received from the article, I knew that was going to happen and didn’t let it get to me. A bit of background first:

I have a co-worker who we will call Nark. Meaning she squeals on everyone for everything. I had previously provided her a link to my old blog which I have since deactivated so that when you visit it it will direct you to this blog. I also disabled the old blog so that you cannot find it by searching since I knew people might be searching for my blog since the article referenced the name but didn’t link to the blog. (Hopefully I’m making sense so far.) So, to make a long story short Nark had been visiting my blog every day since the article came out. How do I know? For one I knew by checking my Site Meter, for two, I know because she said something to my co-worker about one of blog entries being “tmi” (the one about my swollen parts.) I mean it is a pregnancy site right? I didn’t say anything because I knew that since the article was out everyone I knew would be able to find my blog if they cared to do so. So, on Friday afternoon Nark comes into my office and tells me that one of the partners is surfing my blog (gee I wonder who forwarded them the link?). While I didn’t think they would be interested I wasn’t too concerned. Then the partner I work for calls me into his office and tells me that they are concerned about my internet use because some of the timestamps on my blog and during work and non-lunch hours. I explained to him that the timestamps are incorrect because some of them say 5 a.m. and I am never up that early. He insisted that I must be blogging during work time and that they don’t even want me blogging at all on their computer because I am “publishing something.” I told him that wasn’t fair because what about other people who went on MySpace and posted at work? He said “blogging is different.” I told him while I agree that I shouldn’t be blogging on work time (and I never was) I don’t think it is fair to monitor what I do during my lunch with making my blog a specific target and not anyone else. He agreed that I could blog on my lunch and before work. I left feeling pretty ticked off that they would peruse my blog for the purpose of trying to find something that I may have done wrong. Then when I got home I checked my Site Meter because I was curious about how long they spent on there and what they were looking at. I found that they had been on my blog for over 2 hours, read almost every single post including the comments, AND did a search for the word “boss.” I was really pissed by this point. I really felt like they were looking really hard to find something to implicate me in some way. I was hurt that they accused me of blogging on company time and wouldn’t even consider the fact that the time stamps might be wrong. I am sure that Nark directed them to my blog with the sole intention to get me into trouble. I was hurt that I forwarded the article to everyone I knew because I was proud and they turned it around and used it to try to get me into trouble. So, I decided to go invite only. It has never been brought up again and I am over it for the most part. And can you believe that Nark had the nerve to ask me for an invite? So anyway, that is why I went invite only so that my job does not continue to use the blog as an investigation tool.

Anyway. I have been doing okay. I am 15w2d today! I had been having some pain in my lower pelvic area for a couple of days and suspected it might be a UTI so I headed over to the OB on Thursday. Sure enough I was right. So now I am taking antibiotics to clear that up. It feels better but not totally better yet. I am also having some pretty painful RLP. My doctor also commented about my swollen ankles again on Thursday. My ankles have been swelling every single day. My blood pressure was great so at least we don’t have to worry about that for now. She did say that with the PCOS I am at higher risk for preeclampsia and so she wants me to do the 24 hour urine test this weekend. The thought of peeing in a jug and keeping it in my fridge totally grosses me out. I’m kind of confused as to why she wants me to do the test but something about finding a baseline. She also had to bump up my evening insulin from 20 to 25 because my morning sugars are getting high again. All of this combined sent me into kind of a panic mode Thursday night. I was angry at my body because of the PCOS and how even now that I am pregnant I can’t be “normal.” It made me terrified to think of everything that could go wrong. I don’t trust my body at all and that scares me. I’m scared that the swelling is somehow an omen that my blood pressure will get out of control at some point. I love this baby so much and I am doing everything in my power to keep it safe and healthy. I am dealing with this horrible diabetes diet that forces me to eat things I don’t like, I am sticking myself in the stomach every single night and will continue to have to do so until I deliver, I am following everything the doctor tells me to do. Still I don’t trust my body. I just wanted to be a normal pregnant woman but I can’t even do that. I am not complaining, I promise. I know how incredibly blessed I am to be here. I also know that God had a hand in creating this baby and I can only hope and pray that He will help me keep it safe.

Anyway, I guess that is about it for now. I really hope you all continue to comment and read even though I have gone invite only and I hope that you understand why I felt I had to do so. I love each and every one of you and want to thank you for all of your love and support, I could never do this without you.

19 comments:

CJ said...

Wow, that's crazy!! Now I want to stop blogging at work. I don't do it everyday, but sometimes. That was mean on what Nark did to you. Some people are just so jealous and mean. Yes, work will find anythign to fire you, u know? well what's done is done and you will move on. Yes, those blog times are SO wrong. I've noticed that on mine. I am sorry you are going through so much with PCOS and UTI and other things. I wish you all the best and love that baby girl! :)

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential said...

Mo, what a drag, I am so sorry for this unneeded stress in your life. Thank you for taking wonderful care of yourself in all ways, physically and emotionally. I am glad the OB is keeping a close eye on you. The 24 hour urine is to check for renal function and early signs of preeclampsia. I hope you can learn to trust your body, it's so hard, especially with all you and S have been through. I hope and pray that is your baby's gift to you. I hope you will come to appreciate your body and the miracle you are working so hard to create. Here's ((Hugs)), you are Amazing and I will be here for all 3 of the Vs! BTW, you go right ahead and complain, happy to listen.

sara said...

Ick - that coworker sounds just dreadful Mo. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that bull. I'm glad that you were able to go invite so that we can still follow along- but that had to be such a drag for you. Sorry about the swelling and having to do all the insulin and monitoring and everything. It seems like when you go through all the crud to get pregnant, you should get a free pass for an easy breezy beautiful pregnancy. But that doesn't seem to be the case often - and it is darn right unfair. I'm sorry for that. I hope you are feeling okay, that the UTI clears up asap, and that the work boogers settle down. Glad to hear your update - and keep hanging in there girl....you're doing one kick butt job :-)

Making Babies said...

I hope that UTI clears up soon. Hang in there girl. :) Oh BTW, my date/time stamps on my blog are always wrong!!!

nickoletta100 said...

WOW, sorry about work,that really sucks. Hope you feel better witht he uti soon.

Emily said...

Wow. What an awful situation to have been in! I'm gladd you went private.. do you feel better now? Hope your uti clears up soon!!!

AwkwardMoments said...

PCOS sucks with what it does to our bodies/babies!

Hang in there I am sending you such good thoughts/prayers.

*Lane bryant sent me 2 of hte dresses that I wore to my shower - You want hte one that has never been opened? Email me and I will tell you want size it is if you are interested

Stace said...

Sorry work sucks.

I'm so excited that you're already so far along!! :) Congrats and keep up the good work.

Nicole said...

Congrats on being 15 weeks! Wow!

Sorry about the work thing and having to go private. My worst fear with blogging was that people from work would come across it...and I didn't want that to happen. And I didn't even consider that my bosses could use it against me! Glad you're still blogging.

Candi said...

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. Hang in there momma! You're going great!!

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential said...

Thanks for your very sweet comment on my blog. You can always kick me in the booty if my a$$vice is unwelcome, you are a great team w/your OB and staff, so I know they are your "Go To People". I hope your worry lessens as your baby grows! (well, the worry changes but in a Good Way, ((Hugs))

My_Herstory said...

Wow, that entire blogging at work deal... I don't blame you for going password protected. That's just crazy! What tracker do you use? I'de be interested in seeing who reads my blog lol. (you know all the people that don't comment)
You definatley have a lot to think about with the special diet and such, but you're doing wonderful. I hope things keep going well for you.
Happy 15W4D!!!

Beth said...

What a bitch! That sucks that your company came down on you like that. Sorry you have to stress about stupid people!

Rebecca said...

Okay, first of all, Nark sounds like a bitch...she needs to get a life.

Second, it sounds like you're doing everything you can to give your baby a healthy start...I know it sucks and I know how frustrating it is when you feel like you're doing everything right and yet people keep wanting you to do more. It is enough to make you go insane...just keep your eyes on the prize and realize that your baby needs all of this.

Third, if you want to do something about the swollen ankles (not that it's easy to escape with it being so hot and muggy lately), try the support hose...I turned my nose up at them big time, but then tried a pair (I recommend the knee highs) and they did work...that and lying around all day with my feet up. Good luck with everything and vent when you need to vent...it'll keep you sane!

The Beauty Junkie said...

OMG WHAT ASSHOLES!! Your co-workers and that bitch need to be slapped. What a rude thing to do to someone.

Bec said...

What craziness! I hope this Nark person gets whats coming to them - I firmly believe in karma! I too have had to stop blogging at work, unfortunately it makes you an easy target in the workplace.

Rachie Pachie said...

Wow... I cannot even fathom that! How crazy! And to spend so long on your blog just to incriminate you!? And then for "Nark" to ask for an invite? Ugh.

Glad to hear that it wasn't nasty comments on your blog or emailed to you that made you go invite only. So sad that people can't even think about empathizing with us.

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