Pee Sticks and Parking Spots (10dpIUI)

Wondering about the title huh? I will start todays entry with a list of things that annoy me:

1) Having to answer the same question several times to several people. Dh had to pick me up from work yesterday because my fil who is my ride is out of town. So at 5:00 instead of leaving with the other paralegals and waiting in the lobby with nothing to do (because dh usually can't make it here until 5:15 or so) I decided to stay in my office and wait so I could surf the internet. I swear, every single person that walked past me asked me why I wasn't leaving. Now I know logically they were obviously curious because I always leave at 5 but it got really annoying to have to explain over and over again that fil was out of town and dh was picking me up.

2) Elevator stupidity! I work on the 25th floor so every day I see some odd elevator behavior on my ride down.
a) If the floor you are going to is already highlighted you don't need to push the button again. It doesn't make the doors shut faster and it isn't going to get you there any sooner.
b) holding the door close button while going down is not going to make the elevator not stop at any other floors. This never works but I see people do it every day. Plus, if it did work, what makes you so special that you feel that everyone on the lower floors shouldn't get onto the elevator but that you should be carried directly to your destination without interruption?
c) Holding the door for someone who is clearly not ready to get on thereby holding up everyone on the elevator. If they are not there and waiting or a couple steps away then you should not be holding the door for them.

3) Parking spots that say "Reserved for Pregnant Women or Families with Infants" I mean seriously, maybe this is just the infertile in me talking but why does a pregnant woman need a special parking spot? Pregnancy is not a crippling disease. I just feel like if you really have a need to park close then get a temporary handicap tag from your doctor. Dh and I parked in one of those spots last night and I felt damn good about it. I felt like somehow I was conquoring the fertile world! Sorry if I offended any of you here but just remember that I am a bitter infertile and may be slightly insane so dont take offense too much.

4) Did you know that apparently they no longer sell HPTs in grocery stores? Addmitedly it has been a looong time since I have taken one but I always used to get them at the grocery store. We went to three grocery stores in our area and none of them carry HPTs. They carry diapers, hemmeriod cream, pads, and vagisil, but no HPTs.

5) The places that do sell HPTs put them out in the open for all to see. Now, I am 27 years old and DH is 29, we have been married for five years, and have been TTC for five years but for some reason I am still embarrased to buy an HPT. I mean, since my whole small town knows exactly what part of our cycle we are on (I will get to that later) it would be nice if we could at least keep my pee stick addiction a secret. Sure enough, as I browsing the pee stick selection we did see someone we know.

6) People that giggle when you ask if they sell pregnancy tests. Seriously, this really did happen. DH and I went to the customer service counter at the third grocery store we tried because I thought maybe they changed the way HPTs looked since I have last used them and I was just missing them, or maybe they are in the cat food isle now or something. We asked the young girl behind the counter if they sold HPTs and she said no. As we were walking away the girl behind the counter and the woman waiting at the counter started giggling. What is so funny about two married adults looking for HPTs?

7) And the last thing that annoys me...negative HPTs. Yes you read it. DH talked me into taking a test LAST NIGHT. It was negative. I know its too early and I didn't even use FMU but whatever. I got it out of my system and now I am ready to wait until Thursday or Friday before
I take another.

So, there you have it, my list of annoying things. Feel free to add to it or make your own list. It's quite liberating actually. After my negative last night even though I knew that it was too early and I didn't use FMU I was still a little bummed. DH had to remind me of what my initial goal for this cycle was, to ovulate, which is not an easy feat for me. I know what I said my initial goal was but obviously I want to be pregnant too! These cycles aren't cheap and I am worried that we will depleat all of our savings right now and not be able to do IVF. But dh told me that if we got a negative that he would take me to the Melting Pot. Yay! I love that place. That makes me feel a little better. I have also made the decision that next cycle we will not be quite as open about exactly where we are in our cycle with everyone I know in my real life. While I am still the advocate for being open about infertility and raising public awareness I also think that people in my life are too involved. They now ask about every aspect, exactly where we are, when we are testing. So if I get a negative I am going to have to answer a million questions and if we get a positive there will be no hiding it. So, next cycle I am going to say yes, we are doing another cycle but that we would like to keep it a bit more private this time and we will let everyone know when we are ready. I hope no one thinks that I am backing out of my previous statements. I still believe 110% that we should be honest and open about infertility (if you feel comfortable doing so) and let everyone know that this is a real thing that happens to millions of couples and it shoulden't be regarded as a dirty little secret. I am not ashamed of the fact that I have PCOS and that I need medical assistance to get pregnant. Honestly, I tell everyone that asks. Why? Because most people have never heard of PCOS even though millions of women have it and don't even know it. BUT, I don't think that everyone in my home town needs to know the results of my latest u/s and exactly when we get our IUI. It's like telling your home town when you will be having s*ex. So lets hope no one I know has found this blog!!

I think I have bored you enough. I don't know why my posts are so long lately, I apologize. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all of your comments and words of wisdom. I have decided not to go to the shower and to give my friend and her husband their gift in private. You all are the best! I am so gald I found a place to put all of my crazy thoughts!