So tired...

Wow...it's been a little while since I have updated last. Well, I am sure that you all have been waiting and anticipating the next installment of my oh so exciting life. Let’s see:

Still no AF. I really don’t think she is coming at all. I have the bottle of prometrium but I don’t want to start it until we have our money lined up for the IVF which should be in this week. I’m just nervous that we will get to where we need to start the lupron and we won’t have paid our deposit yet. While we have the money to pay the deposit I would just feel better if we had all of the money we need easily accessible before we start.

I had a horribly busy weekend and I hated every minute of it. Friday night was my friend from work’s bachelorette party. I really didn’t want to go because clubbing and drinking aren’t my thing (at least since my early twenties.) I toyed with making up an excuse until I saw how excited she was and I just couldn’t tell her I wasn’t coming. Friday on the way home there was a huge accident and car fire which extended my usually 30 minute drive home to an hour and a half drive home. I had to rush to eat dinner and get ready to go out. I was having a horrible hair day and for some reason my hair was so full to static that it was literally sticking to my face. I didn’t want to go to begin with so I was already in a crappy mood which was made worse by the ride home. I was also not thrilled about having to stay out late because we were having 0ur spaghetti dinner at church the next day and I needed to be at church early to set up for that. DH dropped me off at the hotel we were meeting at and I decided that it would be better if I got cash out of the ATM that way I didn’t have to carry my card around or a purse. So I got $60 out which I thought would be more than plenty since I was only planning on having one drink. So I kissed DH and stuffed the $60 into my jeans pocket. 30 minutes later as we were leaving the hotel to go to the club I reached in my pocket and my $60 was gone! I backtracked through the hotel and in the parking lot and never did find my money. The only thing I can think is that the money fell out of my pocket. I was so upset! I mean I certainly wasn’t going to spend the whole $60 but now I had no money on me at all, not even my bankcard. So I had to borrow some money from someone to get into this club that I didn’t want to go to anyway. The club was crowded and rowdy. The girls there were raunchy and slutty (not the girls I was with, the ones at the club) and the guys were looking the women up and down like it was a cattle auction. Two guys got into a fight and one pushed another into me and almost knocked me on the ground. Finally I called DH around 1:00 and asked him to come pick me up. I didn’t get to bed until 2:00 because I had to eat something because I didn’t eat a lot for dinner because I was rushing around.

Saturday we spent ALL day at church. Dh and I have been youth group leaders for almost 10 years now and every year we do a spaghetti dinner to raise money for our youth group. So, My new focus is going to be to figure out a way to gain some control over the portions of my life that I have control over since my fertility is obviously not one of the things I can directly control. I am a people pleaser which should be very evident from my posts. I am always concerned about making other people happy and not worrying about what makes me happy. From now on I am going to try my best not to worry about what other people think I should be doing. My house is a disaster due to the fact that I wasn’t home at all this weekend to clean so I am going to try to tackle that in little bits this week. I feel so much better when things are cleaned and organized but I have had some trouble getting the energy to do it. I am also starting to cough so I am hoping I am not coming down with something although it may have something to do with the lack of sleep. I am going after work to buy something to help me sleep.

I also have to make a decision about my Longaberger business. I have had a lot of trouble keeping a good customer base mainly because there are so many other consultants in my area and I just don’t have the time to devote to it. I have a very limited group of customers who simply cannot afford to purchase baskets on a regular basis to keep my business afloat. I really don’t want to stop selling them but I just don’t know what else to do. I have tried several times to bring in new customers or get people to book shows by having shows at my house and trying to get people to be hostesses but they either don’t come, or they come and buy something but wont be a hostess or they sign up to be a hostess and then cancel later. I am like $15 short of making my sales requirement to renew my contract so I may just purchase $15 worth of stuff just to renew my contract and then decide over the next year whether I want to sell the baskets. It is something that I do enjoy doing but that I feel like it is too much work for so little reward.