PCOS Strikes Again!

Wow, two posts in one day from me, right? Well, this one is not such great news. My OB nurse called and said that my blood sugars or glucose (or something, can’t really remember) came out high. Not dangerously high, but high. So, my OB, who knows a lot about PCOS, has decided to diagnose me with gestational diabetes at 11 weeks. He said because of my insulin problems and PCOS that if it is high now it will likely only get worse so it is better to get it under control now instead of later. So, I have to go to my doctor’s at 12:00 and pick up a glucometer and test strips and then meet with the nurse to go over how to use it and some sort of diet I am supposed to be on now. I am pissed but this is not unexpected. I just didn’t expect it this early. The good news is that little Doozer is healthy and I want to keep it that way. I have a hard time with diets but I don’t have a choice here, hopefully knowing that it is the very best for my baby will give me the will power I need. I’m a little annoyed with having to prick my finger all the time but it can’t be any worse than shots in the ass can it? Dh said he would do the diet with me because he needs to lose some weight as well. I appreciate that, it will make it easier if we are both eating healthier. So today when we get home we will empty out the fridge and go grocery shopping for whatever type of food they tell me I am supposed to eat. I’m guessing my favorite Oreo cookies wont be on the list huh? Please pray for me. I want to take care of this now because I want to be healthy and I want Doozer to be healthy too. Also, if any of you have had GD or know someone who has it could you please give me some advice, pointers, words of encouragement, something? I will update when I get back from the doctors.

Heartbeat

Here you are, a video of our doppler in use. You can hear the heartbeat beating nice and fast. I did take belly pics last night but I am not happy with them so I will try again tonight. Let me know what you think.

The Most Beautiful Sound (11w1d)

Well, we got a surprise when we got home from work yesterday and found our doppler waiting for us. It was a surprise because it wasn't supposed to arrive until Thursday. So we immediately headed back to the bedroom to try it out. I kept my bladder full because the papers inside suggested that it may be easier to hear the h/b with a full bladder. I laid back on the bed, pulled down my pants and Shawn got the doppler ready. It came with batteries so all we had to do was pop in the batteries. Then Shawn gelled up the doppler and we went to town. We started where the book suggested, right in the middle between my belly button and pubic bone. We spent the next 20 minutes hunting for the little one's h/b. We found mine plenty of times (it's amazing all the different places you can pick up you h/b way down there) which seemed to range from 80 to 90, so I knew it wasn't the baby's. I actually didn't freak out when we couldn't find it, I knew it would take a while the first time because baby is so small. Finally, after about 20 minutes of looking we heard something much faster. It was so clear, the most beautiful sound ever. The reading on the doppler showed 178 and I knew it had to be Doozer's. It was an awesome sound, so worth the money we are spending to rent this thing every month. We wanted to record the sound on our digital camera (the doppler does not have a recording device) but my amazing Dh had softball (again). So we will record it this evening (since we have decided to listen once a day) and we will also take the dreaded belly pic. Hopefully from now on it will be easier to find the h/b since we know where the baby is, unless he is practicing Olympic swimming and going from side to side. So, for now, I am pleased with my decision to rent a doppler, I think it is helping me not to worry so much over every little ache and pain.

Speaking of aches and pains, I have been feeling some soreness in my lower belly when I wake up in the morning, almost like I have been exercising. I have also been feeling a pulling stretching pain in my left side, kind of where my ovary would be. I called my OB and he said that it could be round ligament pain but not to worry unless it is non-stop or I spot or bleed. I also called my OB because my acid reflux began to really become unbearable. I stopped taking my prescription Prilosec because I read that it is a category C medication and may not be safe for pregnancy. I was getting unbearable heartburn no matter what I ate and an intense pressure in my chest that made me feel like I was choking. My Ob said that I cannot take the Prilosec but I should try Zantac 150 twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Let me tell you, I feel so much better now! I still have some mild heartburn here and there but nothing like before!

As for my symptoms, here is what I am dealing with so far:

• Soreness in my tummy in the mornings, like sore muscles.
• Pulling and stretching pain on left side.
• Heartburn, although much better now.
• Extreme tiredness.
• And now I have went to just feeling awful in the morning and only puking once (around 6 or 7 weeks) to puking every morning. I thought it was supposed to go the other way, where you start to feel better the closer you get to the second trimester, instead, I feel myself getting worse.
• Very mild breast tenderness, hardly worth mentioning.

But there is no complaints here, I am feeling extremely blessed to be where I am. I thank God every single day that He has blessed us with this child. I know there are no guarantees, but I find myself slowly believing that we may actually get to bring home a baby in January. I am so excited to finally start the second trimester. Some of my books say it starts at 13 weeks, some say 14, but I'm going with 13 because it is closer. I still can't believe that we are here, it seems like a dream that would never come true.

Lastly, I am sorry that all of my posts have been about pregnancy, and that I have not posted or commented more often. I am still going through that odd phase where I don't know where I belong. To me I will always be an infertile, but I can't help but worry that my joy is causing others pain. I know how it feels to be happy for someone but jealous at the same time. I know how much it hurts to read what others are going through and want it so much for yourself. I will NEVER forget the pain that the last six years has brought me. I will NEVER be one of those women who immediately forget all about the pain of IF when they finally get pregnant. I feel each and every one of your pain so deeply, and I remember how it felt. I still deal with that pain every single day, because while I know I am blessed beyond belief, I still suffer from the same emotions and worries. And you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't want to ever forget how infertility has changed my life in more ways than I can ever imagine. I don't want to forget what a miracle a child is or how much pain and expense some of us go through to get what others so easily achieve. So please, don't ever think that I have become one of them, someone so wrapped up in their own pregnancy that they forget that there are still so many out there suffering. If I ever act like that, let me know. I talk about my pregnancy a lot because it is what is on my mind 24/7. There isn't a moment of the day when I don't think about our little one. I also have nothing else to discuss because I am either sleeping, working or eating, that's about it! So, that was my long winded slightly pregnancy hormone induced explanation for why my posts and comments have been few and far between and why all of my posts are usually pregnancy related.

Lastly, did any of you watch Baby Borrowers last night? I'm curious what you thought about it. I will tell you my thoughts but I want to see what some of you thought first. Also, do any of you watch So You Think You Can Dance? OMG, I love Twitch, he is just too cute for words! In case you haven't noticed, I am a reality TV junkie!

Decided!

Thank you all for your imput regarding my decision on whether or not to rent a doppler. After a lot of thinking I have decided to rent one. I went with this one. I decided to get one that digitally reads the heart rate so I wont have to count and figure it out myself. It should be here by the end of this week. Of course I am anxious that I wont be able to find the h/b but if that happens you better believe I am demanding that my doctor see me to check on things. All in all I feel good about my decision and I hope it will relieve some of my anxiety. If any of you have tips on how to find the h/b I'm all ears.

I have also decided that this Wednesday, when I hit 11 weeks I am going to take my first belly shot. I'm not sure if it will be bare belly or not but you have to promise not to laugh at my pudge!

Lastly, I'm calling all lurkers to de-lurk! I know you are reading! Tell me about yourself, where you are from, how you found my blog, and whether you are an IF and if so what stage in the game are you?? Perty please?

To Doppler or Not to Doppler?

Okay, this has been weighing on my mind for some time now. I have been debating whether or not to get a doppler. I want to get one because I am obviously a worrier and I feel like it might just help me feel a little more relaxed. I feel like if I could hear the baby's heartbeat I would know everything is okay. But then on the other hand I am afraid it will make me worry more. I am worried that because I am a chubby girl that I wont be able to pick up the h/b because there will be too much chub in the way. Then that will make me worry more. So, I am looking for advice. I know ultimately the decision is mine and what ever I feel comfortable with, but I'm not sure yet so I need your help. What would you do/did you do? Does anyone who has a little chub on the belly have problems picking up the h/b or were you able to hear it just fine? If you use a doppler what kind do you use? Help ladies!!

So Cute!!!

What more can I say, I am so in love!The doctor's appointment went great. Of course I was a nervous wreck waiting in the waiting room. They had me fill out the registration paperwork to deliver at GBMC. Hello! I am just trying to get past the first trimester here! Then they had me fill out a depression screening thing as well. Then they called me back and took my blood pressure which was perfect. Then we met the doctor who asked us a few questions about our history and did the pelvic exam and breast exam. Then they wheeled in the u/s machine and my heart started pounding. It was still a t/v u/s but I was okay with that, after all I am used to being wanded. Right away the doctor turned the screen towards me and said "there's your baby and there's the heartbeat." I was amazed at how much our little Doozer had grown! He actually looks like a little baby now! So cute! As we watched him he did a little wiggle and I let out a loud awwwwwww! He showed us the umbilical cord and we could still see the yolk sac although the doctor said the baby is getting what it needs from the placenta now. Doozer measured at 9w4d which the doctor said was fine for 9w6d. I wanted to see him move again so the doctor poked him a few times and we saw a little arm fly up as if to say "talk to the hand, I'm sleeping!" Just like his mommy! The doctor changed to a front view and we got watch the baby that way for a bit. We saw a little arm go up and were even able to see little tiny fingers. The u/s machine was really clear and the doctor said it was brand new. Finally we decided that Doozer was sleeping and wasn't going to give us more than a few dismissive arm waives so we ended the u/s. Then I got dressed and the doctor came back in to talk to us. He kept of saying he was excited because he loved to see a couple that tried so hard to get pregnant finally get their wish. He knew a little about IVF and he also knew a lot about PCOS. He warned me of all the things I already knew like the increased chance of getting GD and high blood pressure. We loved the doctor, he was nice and funny and really understanding. He congratulated us again and asked me to make an appointment to come back in 4 weeks. Then we headed to the lab for blood tests. They took a gazillion vials of blood from me and asked me to pee in a cup and then we got to leave. I can't believe we have to wait 4 weeks! Seems like an eternity! Whew!

And, here is the diaper cake I made, let me know what you think.

I'm Still Alive! 9w5d

Wow! I can't believe it has been a week since I posted last! I didn't intentionally stay away that long it's just that every time I would think of posting a blog I didn't know what to say. I hesitate to continually talk about the pregnancy, but that's what my life is about right now. This started out as an infertility blog and it only seems right to continue it as a pregnancy after infertility blog. So, I hope all of you are not getting sick of hearing about my pregnancy. Of course I will continue to update you on other aspects of my life as well (because we all know how exciting my life is!) So, here's whats been going on with me:

• Pregnancy: I feel okay. I'm tired most of the day, like right to the bone tired! I still feel sick in the mornings but it is better when I eat. I also noticed that the earlier I go to bed the better I feel when I wake up. I am still bloated and it appears it is here to stay. I have been wearing loose shirts in an effort to hide my pudge but it's no use. I have my first OB appointment tomorrow. The nurse called me last week and decided to do the intake interview over the phone. So I will go to the doctor at 3:00 instead of 2:00. I asked her if he would do an ultrasound and she said yes. I was so relieved to hear that! I just want to know that everything is okay. I am still terrified that something is going to go wrong. I am so scared that they are going to do an u/s and not see a heartbeat, it is my worst fear. I worry about every little thing. When I didn't feel sick on Saturday when I woke up I immediately worried that something was wrong and continued to worry all day. My Mom told me I worry too much but she doesn't understand. I really do hope that at some point I can relax a little more, but for now the anxiety is still very real for me. It's almost like I still feel like it is too good to be true, some sort of sick joke, that someone is going to take it all away from me. I don't know how I am going to cope during the 4 weeks until my next ob appointment. I thought about getting a doppler but Dh thinks it will make me more worried if I can't find a heartbeat. I'm not sure. Lastly, I do have a question for those of you who have been to an ob appointment. At what point does my husband come in? Does he stay outside during the exam and then I have them call him in for the u/s or does he stay in the room during the whole thing?
• Baby Shower: Not mine silly! We have a long way to go before we start worrying about those things. The baby shower I went to on Saturday, the one I made the diaper cake for. First of all, my diaper cake turned out beautiful! I was so proud of it when I was finished! I keep on forgetting to have Dh load the pictures off the camera, maybe I will remember tonight. Dh said I should make them and sell them. The shower was for my step sister in-law. She looked awful! I know it sounds mean but she just looked miserable. She was very very bloated and had dark circles under her eyes. She still has until the end of July too! Btw, I still hate baby showers! I still felt uncomfortable, I still feel like I am an impostor. But luckily this one was very small and no stupid games or anything like that.
• This Weekend: Dh wants to go back to the farm house in Western Maryland this weekend to finish putting the roof on the porch. Truth be told, I don't really want to go. Don't get me wrong, I love it up there, it is beautiful. However, there is no a/c in the house and the bed is very uncomfortable and small. Those things combined make it very hard for me to get a good nights sleep and if I don't sleep well I don't feel well. That combined with the fact that our house is filthy and needs to be cleaned big time. The yard needs to be mowed, and the garden needs weeding. The house needs a good cleaning top to bottom, our laundry is out of control and the refrigerator needs cleaning out badly. I don't want to keep Dh from helping and I know he wants to go but I can't stand our house the way it is. I am so exhausted by the time I get home from work that it is hard for me to do much. I really need his help. He plays softball on Tuesday and Wednesday so those days are out. So if we went to the farm we would have to clean the whole house today because we would need to pack on Wednesday. I don't know what to do, I'm just not feeling up to it and I really need a clean house again.

Well, that's about it for now. I will update tomorrow after my ob appointment. Please pray that all is well with little Doozer!

8w5d

Sorry I have been MIA for a while! It's just I haven't really had anything to say. Life has been pretty uneventful which is a good thing. I'm still feeling sick every morning but no complaining here. My boobs are getting bigger which I do not like at all! I am already a 38d and now I am overflowing out of that! I don't want bigger boobs! I finally have my first OB appointment scheduled for Tuesday, June 17th at 2:00 p.m. I really hope they at least try and get the baby's heartbeat. Does anyone know if it will be too early? I will be 9w6d by then. I need some sort of reassurance! Can anyone tell me what to expect at the first OB appointment? They told me to plan on it being an hour and a half! An hour with the nurse and 1/2 hour with the doctor. What will the doctor do that will take 1/2 hour?

My weekend was pretty lazy and uneventful. Friday evening I finally went with Dh to the hospital to see his grandmother. I just couldn't bear not seeing her since her stroke. I was kind of worried that she wouldn't remember me because there is some people she can't remember (although Dh thinks it's more like she doesn't want to remember them.) But when we got there she knew exactly who I was and call me "Mo" which is what his family calls me. She couldn't move the left side of her body and was still only answering questions in one or two words but she was aware of what was going on and even smiled and laughed a few times. They moved her to a rehab facility on Saturday where I know she will try like a champ to get better. The only not so great thing is that we think she has forgotten that her husband passed away. She asked Dh's dad if he was going to visit his father. We think that she thinks that he is still in the hospital. It will be hard to break it to her again but we don't think now is the right time.

Saturday we had our Strawberry Festival at church. I was initially going to go in the morning and help but it was so hot and was supposed to be almost 100 degrees so Dh and I decided I would stay home and he would go, no complaining from me! I spent the day lounging on the couch reading. I started to develop a headache around mid-day on Saturday that despite extra-strength Tylenol every 4 hours did not leave until Sunday night. In fact, during church on Sunday I had to leave in the middle of the service because the headache turned into a horrible migraine so I spent a good portion of Sunday in bed with ice over my eyes.

So, all in all a pretty boring weekend. This next weekend coming up I have to go to a small baby shower my Mom is throwing for my half sister in-law. I'm going to make my first attempt at making a diaper cake. I love these things and think they are so cute so I thought I would give it a try. I am pretty crafty and I need something to keep me busy this week while Dh plays softball on Tuesday and Wednesday. I anyone has ever made one of these I would love any tips. I will post a picture of it when I am finished.

Well, I guess that's it...ta ta for now!!!!!

Doozer- 8 Week Ultrasound

Does anyone else think Doozer looks like Casper the ghost in this picture? He he! It almost looks like we can see eyes and a mouth although I don't really think that is what we are seeing. But if you look closely you can see little arm buds and tiny little flipper feet! Too cute! I had some trouble uploading the video but you can find it Here on our Babysite. The video is blurry but you can see the heart beating! Too cool!

Graduation Day (8w0d)

Well, today is the day I officially said goodbye to my RE and became a "normal pregnant woman." Who am I kidding? I'll never be normal. Everything looked great, Doozer grew, we could more clearly see little arm buds and his/her little head. Hb was 167 bpm and RE said Doozer measured right on target. I will scan the picture tonight. We also took a video of the u/s and if I can figure out how I will put that on here too. During my lunch today I need to call and make my first OB appointment. My RE said I should see my OB within the next couple of weeks. I don't know how I am going to wait that long until I get to see/hear Doozer! I am amazed and thrilled that we made it this far and I thank each and every one of you because you were, and hopefully will continue to be, such a big part of our journey. I am so busy at work, I wish I had more time to update but expect a cute little picture of our Doozer tonight!

***Updated to add, I know I may be jinxing myself (Although Dh assures me that there is no such thing) but I made a babysite, check it out Here and feel free to sign the guestbook if you wish!

7w6d

Yup, I'm not so creative with the titles lately. I'm sorry I haven't written lately but I really don't have much to say. That combined with the fact that I still feel fantastically awful in the mornings makes it difficult to sit down and write a post. Lets see, since I last posted:

• I continue to have m/s as I posted above. Some days are better than others. But I don't mind because I just keep on hoping that it means Doozer is growing big and strong.
  
• I had another person ask me when I was due! I mean seriously, can't a gal have swollen ovaries without getting questioned? I decided that I need some looser shirts until the bloat goes down so I plan on shopping in the next couple of days. Hopefully that will eliminate these types of questions.
• Dh's grandmother (the one who recently lost her husband) had a stroke on Friday. She is doing better and can speak in sentences for the most part and is beginning to have feeling in her arms and legs. The is obviously another blow on the family who has already been through so much over the last few months. I haven't been to visit her because the family thinks its best I don't go to the hospital right now. They don't want me to be too stressed and also don't want me to be exposed to anything in the hospital. I can't even begin to tell you how much this little baby means to our family. There hasn't been a baby born on Shawn's dad's side of the family for about 7 years now so this little guys is very much wanted and loved. So everyone is a little overprotective of my health. I makes me feel kind of strange but I do understand and appreciate it.
• I have my 8 week u/s with me RE tomorrow. If all goes well we will graduate to my OB. I am nervous as always. I notice that about 2 days before the u/s the nerves start creeping in and I begin to worry if everything is okay. I am still scared something is going to go wrong because it still seems too good to be true. It's almost like I'm reading someone else's blog wishing it was me. I mean, I had never even seen a positive HPT in my life! It just keeps on getting better and better and I am so afraid it is all going to slip away. But I'm leaving it in God's hands because I know He will take care of me. And I have to trust that He knows what's best for me, but I sure do hope it's to have this baby stick around and come to meet us in January.

Well, that's about it. I will be back tomorrow to let you know the news about our 8 week u/s. Please pray all goes well and that our little Doozer has continued to grow big and strong with a nice strong heartbeat!