In Limbo

Well, I wish I had more to say but, just the same as yesterday I am in limbo waiting until tomorrows beta results. I just want it to be over honestly. I want to know what is going on. I am also curious that if this is a chemical or a miscarriage (which I am sure it is due to the low number) when will af arrive? How long does it usually take? Does this mean I am going to have to wait another month to start or can I still start the bcp after af arrives? Can I still bring on AF with the provera? Well, I am hoping that I will get an answer either way tomorrow. All the things I have found by consulting Dr. Google tell me that this number is not normal for 5 weeks 5 days which is what I would be. In fact, I couldn't even find anyone who had a number that low at this time. Leave it to me to be the weirdo! I still feel like I am in a dream. Never in all of the years I have been doing treatment and all of the betas I have had have I ever gotten anything other than "it's negative." I really wish that whatever happened in there (whether it be that the egg just fertilized but didn't implant or whether it just stopped growing) would have turned out differently. How amazing would that be if after all of this we would have gotten such a suprise? But, I know that God's plan is the best plan and for whatever reason this "experience" (I refuse to mention the p-word because I don't qualify this as the p-word) wasn't meant to last. Again, thank you for commenting. I really do look forward to reading your comments. I will update tomorrow when I hear something.