Genetic Center Results (16w1d)

First of all, I apologize for not writing this blog post sooner. I didn’t get to work until 1:00 so I didn’t take a lunch. Anyway, when we arrived at the genetic center we first spoke with the genetic counselor, who seriously did not look old enough to be doing that job. She explained the results from our quad screen and went over exactly what DS is and what causes it. She explained that the quad screen is just a screen and not a diagnostic test. She went over our family history and explained that the only way to know for sure is to get an amnio which we declined. Then we went into the ultrasound room. They had a huge screen on the wall which showed everything so we didn’t have to stare at a little screen. She checked the baby from head to toe. Everything measured right on target and there were no markers for downs (cyst on brain, spot on heart, enlarged kidneys, enlarged bladder, etc.) Baby was wiggling all around (which I still can’t feel!) and drinking amniotic fluid (aka baby pee.) Baby was stubborn and sitting almost Indian style at first so I had to get up and go pee and shake things up a bit and then she was able to get the measurements she needed. We do need to go back in three weeks so she can look at the heart because baby is still a little too small for that. All in all I am extremely relieved and feel like I got the reassurance I needed. Obviously there is always some remote possibility that something could still be wrong but I am not interested in the amnio.

So, I suppose you are wondering whether we were able to get a look at the goods huh? We got a quick peek at first and then baby crossed its legs. After I got up to go pee the legs opened back up and we were able to get a pretty good look at the goods. And…I was right, we have ourselves a baby boy! We saw his little baby “pee pee” and are pretty confident it is a boy. The tech said it was definitely a boy so hopefully she is right. We still have our big u/s for the 11th so we will double check then. So, without further ado, let me introduce our little miracle Noah Michael Vollmerhausen.

Profile shot.

Front view (alien picture)

The “money” shot (this one is not of the "pee pee" itself, just his little "jewels".

We picked the name Noah because we just like the name. The name Michael is special to us both because Shawn and his dad’s middle name is Michael and my father’s name was Michael.

We did tell our parents the sex and we will tell our grandparents tonight then we will tell everyone else in the family/friends.

Thank you a million times over for all of your love and support. The past couple of days have truly been some of the roughest days in my life. I am a believer and I know that God would never give us more than we can handle and I will love this baby no matter what. Hugs and kisses to you all and let me know what you think of the name!

16w0d & Quad Screen Results

I didn't really want to get the Quad Screen anyway because I have heard horror stories of people getting bad results and worrying over nothing, but I decided to do it anyway. And what do you know? My quad screen came back with a 1 in 39 chance of Downs. The other numbers were fine but because of this number I have to go to a genetic counselor and get a level 3 u/s at a genetic place. The good news is that we get to see our little Doozer TOMORROW! I'm scared to death! I will obviously love this baby no matter what and even if it does have downs I would never terminate, but I can't help but be upset over the possibilities. You always want your child to be perfect and when there is a chance that something may not be right it is devastating. I am hopeful that everything will be fine but I can't help but look at the numbers. Why is it so high? I'm not over 35 so that didn't factor into it. So anyway, I am a mess these past 2 days since hearing the results. We go tomorrow at 10 a.m. to meet with the genetics center and to get the u/s. Please, if you pray, please send a quick prayer our way for the health of our little one.

15w2d

Hello there! I bet you thought I fell off the face of the earth? Nope, I’m still here and all is well. I guess I owe an explanation as to why I had to go invite only huh? It had nothing to do with the comments we received from the article, I knew that was going to happen and didn’t let it get to me. A bit of background first:

I have a co-worker who we will call Nark. Meaning she squeals on everyone for everything. I had previously provided her a link to my old blog which I have since deactivated so that when you visit it it will direct you to this blog. I also disabled the old blog so that you cannot find it by searching since I knew people might be searching for my blog since the article referenced the name but didn’t link to the blog. (Hopefully I’m making sense so far.) So, to make a long story short Nark had been visiting my blog every day since the article came out. How do I know? For one I knew by checking my Site Meter, for two, I know because she said something to my co-worker about one of blog entries being “tmi” (the one about my swollen parts.) I mean it is a pregnancy site right? I didn’t say anything because I knew that since the article was out everyone I knew would be able to find my blog if they cared to do so. So, on Friday afternoon Nark comes into my office and tells me that one of the partners is surfing my blog (gee I wonder who forwarded them the link?). While I didn’t think they would be interested I wasn’t too concerned. Then the partner I work for calls me into his office and tells me that they are concerned about my internet use because some of the timestamps on my blog and during work and non-lunch hours. I explained to him that the timestamps are incorrect because some of them say 5 a.m. and I am never up that early. He insisted that I must be blogging during work time and that they don’t even want me blogging at all on their computer because I am “publishing something.” I told him that wasn’t fair because what about other people who went on MySpace and posted at work? He said “blogging is different.” I told him while I agree that I shouldn’t be blogging on work time (and I never was) I don’t think it is fair to monitor what I do during my lunch with making my blog a specific target and not anyone else. He agreed that I could blog on my lunch and before work. I left feeling pretty ticked off that they would peruse my blog for the purpose of trying to find something that I may have done wrong. Then when I got home I checked my Site Meter because I was curious about how long they spent on there and what they were looking at. I found that they had been on my blog for over 2 hours, read almost every single post including the comments, AND did a search for the word “boss.” I was really pissed by this point. I really felt like they were looking really hard to find something to implicate me in some way. I was hurt that they accused me of blogging on company time and wouldn’t even consider the fact that the time stamps might be wrong. I am sure that Nark directed them to my blog with the sole intention to get me into trouble. I was hurt that I forwarded the article to everyone I knew because I was proud and they turned it around and used it to try to get me into trouble. So, I decided to go invite only. It has never been brought up again and I am over it for the most part. And can you believe that Nark had the nerve to ask me for an invite? So anyway, that is why I went invite only so that my job does not continue to use the blog as an investigation tool.

Anyway. I have been doing okay. I am 15w2d today! I had been having some pain in my lower pelvic area for a couple of days and suspected it might be a UTI so I headed over to the OB on Thursday. Sure enough I was right. So now I am taking antibiotics to clear that up. It feels better but not totally better yet. I am also having some pretty painful RLP. My doctor also commented about my swollen ankles again on Thursday. My ankles have been swelling every single day. My blood pressure was great so at least we don’t have to worry about that for now. She did say that with the PCOS I am at higher risk for preeclampsia and so she wants me to do the 24 hour urine test this weekend. The thought of peeing in a jug and keeping it in my fridge totally grosses me out. I’m kind of confused as to why she wants me to do the test but something about finding a baseline. She also had to bump up my evening insulin from 20 to 25 because my morning sugars are getting high again. All of this combined sent me into kind of a panic mode Thursday night. I was angry at my body because of the PCOS and how even now that I am pregnant I can’t be “normal.” It made me terrified to think of everything that could go wrong. I don’t trust my body at all and that scares me. I’m scared that the swelling is somehow an omen that my blood pressure will get out of control at some point. I love this baby so much and I am doing everything in my power to keep it safe and healthy. I am dealing with this horrible diabetes diet that forces me to eat things I don’t like, I am sticking myself in the stomach every single night and will continue to have to do so until I deliver, I am following everything the doctor tells me to do. Still I don’t trust my body. I just wanted to be a normal pregnant woman but I can’t even do that. I am not complaining, I promise. I know how incredibly blessed I am to be here. I also know that God had a hand in creating this baby and I can only hope and pray that He will help me keep it safe.

Anyway, I guess that is about it for now. I really hope you all continue to comment and read even though I have gone invite only and I hope that you understand why I felt I had to do so. I love each and every one of you and want to thank you for all of your love and support, I could never do this without you.

Going Password Protected

I really didn't want to have to do this. I always said I wouldn't go password protected because I wanted anyone to be able to find my blog. I knew when I accepted the interview with the Baltimore Sun that family and friends would then have access to my blog but I thought it was a small price to pay for the chance to raise awareness about infertility. I also knew that when I forwarded the article to my work that it would allow people at my work to access my blog as well. But I wanted people to know about the article, and thought they would be proud that I was doing something good. It turns out that by doing so that I have somehow opened myself up to some untrue and hurtful accusations. So I will be going password protected starting sometime before Wednesday. For the benefit of those that know me personally, and that I know are reading because I have a tracker that tells me (and I even know which pages you are viewing and the search terms you are using), I am not going password protected so that I can talk about you or any other reason other than it is obvious that people that I know personally are way too interested in my blog. I apologize if this makes it difficult for anyone using a reader, as I know that readers will not track password protected blogs, however I don't see another choice. So please e-mail me at ravenschic@verizon.net if you would like an invitation to my blog. You must tell me your name (first only) and your e-mail address as well as if you have a blog. Again, I really hope this does not cause me to lose readers but I feel it is the best option for me at this time.

Ob Visit

Two posts in one day, whoa! Just wanted to update everyone on my OB visit today. Doctor said I am doing great with my blood sugars and that I can now come in every 2 weeks instead of every week (I had no idea I would be going to the OB so much this early.) Baby is good, h/b was 155. He told me I have some edema in my ankles (I didn’t notice it) but when I left and had to walk back to my building in the heat my hands swelled again. I told the doctor about my hands swelling and he didn’t seem concerned. He also told me I don’t have to sleep on my left side. He said they usually only tell that to patients who have babies that aren’t growing correctly. He said you will know if your uterus is pressing on any arteries and if I start to feel lightheaded while lying on my back obviously switch to the side. I’m happy about that because it is much more comfortable to sleep on my back for now. But the most exciting news is that we have our big u/s scheduled! On August 11th at 5:30 p.m. we will hopefully find out if Doozer is a boy or a girl! I can’t wait and I am so excited! I added a countdown thingie on the side but I can’t figure out how to resize it. Oh well…

14 Weeks & Assvice

Okay folks, back to business as usual. Today is 14 weeks! Yay Doozer! Doozer is still doing well as far as I can tell. We still listen to the h/b every single night and it still brings me great joy to hear it. How am I feeling at 14 weeks? I'm not sick in the mornings any more. I still feel incredibly hungry in the mornings and I will occasionally gag if I don't eat but no puking. I am not as tired and have some more energy. Not a lot more energy but some. I am having what the doctor told me is round ligament pain. I am very sore feeling when I walk on the inside of my legs right between my legs. I also feel like I have to pee more now than I did before. I thought the uterus was supposed to rise but it seems to still be squishing my little bladder. I am having a horrible time trying to sleep. I am coughing because of allergies, it gives me a dry throat feeling. On top of that I have to get up every hour to pee (I'm not kidding) and I read in my books that I am now not supposed to sleep on my back but on my side because it could cut off the blood circulation to the baby. Well I am a back-sleeper so this has been very difficult for me. I go to sleep on my side but wake up on my back. So I am constantly waking up to reposition myself on my side. I also found something new last night. This part might be a little too TMI but oh well. For the past couple of days I have felt like there is something between my legs that doesn't belong. I took a mirror and looked last night and my lips down there look bigger. They look like they hand lower and are slightly larger. I am assuming this is a pregnancy thing but I'm going to ask my doctor just to be sure. Sorry for the TMI. :) Also, on Saturday we went to an outdoor party and I was outside in the heat from 2:00 until about 8:00. Towards the end of the day I noticed my hands and fingers were swollen. My fingers were so swollen that my "fake bling ring" (because I can't fit my real rings on) was tight. My ankles weren't swollen though. Then I figured it was about time to get out of the heat. I am assuming all of these things are normal pregnancy things but I will ask my OB at my blood sugar appointment today. Hopefully this will be my last weekly appointment since I my sugars are doing so well. Also, no more spotting which is great!

Now on to the assvice portion of my post. Here is a little background first: I am well aware of what I am not supposed to eat and drink during pregnancy. I have spoken to my doctor and I feel confident eating turkey sandwiches from my favorite deli because I am familiar with them and have been eating there for a while. I also allow myself one caffeinated drink per day. the reason I do this is because I cannot have anything with sugar like sprite or anything that doesn't have caffeine. I LOVE diet soda and since I can't have any sweets which I also love I treat myself and allow myself to have one diet soda a day. So, at this party I was enjoying my diet Pepsi for the day. A lady comes up to me later on (someone I don't even know) and starts out by saying "I was deciding on whether I should say something to you or not..." We all know as soon as someone utters those words that means that they are going to spew useless information and assvice that is none of their business. So while I has the urge to advise her that she shouldn't say anything if she had to think about whether it was appropriate to say it I kept my mouth shut. She proceeded to tell me how I shouldn't be drinking caffeine while I am pregnant and when she saw me drinking the diet soda she was "concerned." I explained to her (I really didn't need to explain but I did anyway) that I had discussed it with my doctor and that I was allowing myself to have one caffeinated drink a day. I mean seriously, maybe if I was drinking a beer or something she may have had a right to say something, but I just really thought it was odd. So I guess that makes me a horrible Mommy for drinking on caffeinated drink a day, for shame!

The Price of Fame

Seriously, I'm just kidding about the fame part. But seriously, I have been checking out the comments to the article in the Sun and I am shocked to see the stupidity of some of the commentors. It is not a surprise to me in the least, I knew that taking a chance and putting our story out there would get some not-so-nice comments. I am still so amazed at some of the things that people say, or should I say "type." I am obviously not going to continue to defend my feelings to these ignorant people, especially on the Sun website, but I will address some of their comments, just for the sheer fun of it. Lets start with:

"Screw them. There are too many people in the world as it is. " I'm not even sure this deserves a response.

"If they're leaving it in God's hands to carry the pregnancy full-term, then why did they choose to have science intervene to get pregnant in the first place?" Not sure how these relate to each other. I was always leaving everything to do with our IF and treatments in God's hands. However, leaving it in God's hands does not mean that we can't pursue treatment created by doctors who are created by God. With this type of logic should we choose to forgo all medical treatment (cancer treatment, surgery, etc.) to leave it in God's hands? If I get an infection should I leave it in God's hands to clear it up instead of taking the medication?

"Perhaps infertile couples should get a clue and take their infertility as a sign that they weren't meant to have biological babies." This is ridiculous. I do not believe that infertility should be taken as a sign that someone is not meant to be a biological parent.

"Then they could pour the same amount of time, money and effort into adopting a needy kid or animal." WHAT? Are you suggesting I go and adopt a puppy? You can't be serious. I'm an animal lover but it is not the same thing. As for adopting a child, I have nothing against adoption. In fact, we almost went with adoption instead of IVF. I wish people read up on adoption before they go suggesting it as an alternative to infertility treatment. Adoption is an expensive and long process as many of you know, it is not a decision to be made lightly. Plus, why do these people care what I do with my time, money or effort? If they think there are so many needy kids out there maybe they should "just adopt" as well.

"These people are incredibly selfish." Hmmm...are we selfish because we spent all of our savings, went through years of testing and procedures, shots, heartaches, all to bring a child into the world? To me that seems like one of the most selfless things that someone can do. Come and talk to me again when you have had the pleasure of submitting yourself to countless embarrassing physical exams, giving yourself injections in the a$$ every single night, etc., all for the love of a child that you have never met. Then you have a right to judge.

"Well, if a baby is going to solve all these people's woes then I feel bad for the kid and all the pressure that's already being put on it." Not sure where the article said this. Obviously becoming pregnant won't solve all of our woes. But part of this statement is true. We have an amazing marriage, a wonderful family, two beautiful kitties, a nice house, jobs...etc. The only thing missing in our lives is a baby. There is no pressure, baby is already loved more that he/she could ever imagine.

"Sometimes nature, God, whatever higher power you believe in is trying to tell us something, and I think that something is that not all humans are meant to breed." Yes, lets hope this person does not breed.

"The fact that we are now obsessing over getting preggers and blogging about every neurotic thought or medical procedure speaks volumes about how empty some folks lives really are." Can I tell you how much I hate the word preggers? Sounds like something a 13 year old would say.

"We are not on this planet just to procreate, and parenthood is not going to solve all these people's problems in life. It's kinda scary and sad." Once again, not sure where he/she/it got the idea that parenthood would solve all of our problems.

Now I feel better. Once again, I knew that this would draw some negative comments and that's okay. We all have a right to our opinion, no matter how pigheaded it may be. I just hope that somewhere out this article touched someone today, and helped them know that they aren't alone. If it did it was worth it to me.