Waiting for the Referral

Well, not much to report here. My GYN put the referral in on Wednesday so we should get it back any day now. By the way, we got the official results from the HSG and all is clear! I'm not really sure why that doesn't make me happy, I mean I guess because what's the point of having clear tubes if you have NOTHING to travel down them! But anyway, I guess it's good that they are clear. My RE wants me to see a Maternal-Fetal Medicine Specialist because of the medications I am taking. Mainly because of the medications I am taking for depression/anxiety. I find it funny that I never had an issue with depression until going through infertility. The anxiety started after my boss unexpectedly passed away and then I lost my father 2 months later. The RE also said that they would accept an all clear from my GYN to continue with the IVF and continue to take the meds. Honestly, if I had to I could stop the Welbutrin but the anxiety is much more scary and I don't think I can stop the Zoloft. If anyone has any experience in this department I would love to hear from you. So, as soon as I get the all clear from my OB I just have to wait to bring AF on and then we start the birth control. I can't ait to get started by I am also scared. I have very high hopes that this will work and honestly that scares me. I am the eternal pessimist. It's much easier to expect the worse and be suprised than to expect the best and be devistated. But, I find myself getting excited about the possibility to becoming pregnant and finally moving on from IF. Although, I think IF has changed me for good and I don't think I will ever forget it. So, the fact that I am so optomistic scares me to death. What happens if it doesn't work? Will I crash much harder? It's just that I have been dreaming of having a baby for so long and I am so ready to move on! I know five years isn't long compared to what some of you have been through, but it feels like an eternity! But anyway..enough about that.

I had a good weekend. On Friday we went to church and helped to set up for our annual Ham & Fish Dinner. We are junior youth group leaders (Shawn and I) and the junior youth group ran the white elephant room. Then on Saturday we went out to breakfast at Bob Evans. It was really nice to spend some quality time with Shawn. I love him so much and I never get tired of spending time with him. I feel so fortunate that we have such a strong bond because I know a lot of marriages are not like that. The we went to chruch and ran the white elephant room until we had to leave to go to my Mom's house for my step-sister's 21st birthday. On the way home from my Moms we stopped at a convienience store and I sat in the car while Shawn went inside to get some drinks. I was just sitting and listening to the radio when all of a sudden the whole car lurched forward. Some girl had tried to pull into the parking space next to us and hit our car! There were no other cars in the parking lot but she had to pull right next to us and then totally missed her parking spot. I got out of the car just as Shawn came out of the store. She looked scared and told me when I got out of the car she thought I was going to kick her a$$. Ha ha! I didn't know I look that mean! We exchanged information and I called our insurance company as soon as we got home. There is not a lot of damage but there is a scratch and dents on the driver's side door. I wouldn't care except the car is white and there are no other scratches or dents. So we are waiting for a return call from our insurance company. On Sunday we went to church and then went to visit Shawn's father who had hip replacement surgery. Then we went shopping! I wanted to get some things to help organize our cabinets at home. I am tired of opening a cabinet door and fearing for my life! Then we stopped at Michaels where their fall decorations were 70% off! So I loaded up on fall decorations and went home and decorated the house. I will upload some pictures tomorrow. Then we sat down on the couch, I lit some candles and we watched the rest of the Ghost Hunters live Halloween episode. All in all it was a fun and relaxing weekend.

Lastly, I want to thank those of you that are commenting on my blog. It makes me feel good to know that others are reading my comments and that I am not rambling into nothingness. I will be checking out all of your sites as well. Anyway, be back tomorrow with pictures of my fall decorating (because I know that is exactly what you want to see..lol).