The Flu

The Flu: No, not me! My Dh came down with the flu this week! My poor baby is very very sick and I feel so bad I had to leave him at home today. He stayed home Tuesday because he didn't feel well and called me around 3:30 saying that he caoucn't get out of bed and was shivering. He was also complaining that his body ached really bad. So I went in and told my boss I was going to go home. He looked at me like I was crazy because I was going to go home because my husband was sick. My dh never gets sick and he is not a complainer so I know that when he says he doesn't feel well he must really feel awful. When I got home Dh was laying in bed, shivering and covered in sweat. He was burning hot. I took his tempreature which was 102.5. I realized that I had no groceries in the house because we were supposed to go grocery shopping that night. The only vehicle we own is a stick and I can't drive it. So I had to call my FIL to come and take me to the grocery store so I could get some sick-friendly food. While I am getting Dh some tylenol and seeing to him one of my cats decides to throw up in the hallway, simultaniously the other is busy pooping on the floor in front of the litter box. So, while I am literally mopping sweat off of dh I have to clean the throw up in that hallway and clean the poop off the floor. Dh was as sick as I have ever seen him. I had to try so hard not to cry because I hated seeing him in so much pain. I stayed home with him yesterday and I honestly don't care if my boss thinks I'm crazy for staying home to take care of my husband. My boss is getting his wisdom teeth pulled today and says he is coming in to work afterwards. Sheesh! I did leave my Dh at home today because I didn't want to take any more time off of work but he still had a fever when I left this morning. I am so scared I am going to catch the flu. I slept on the couch and washed everything so hopefully I wont get sick!

On the IF Front: I want to apologize for not commenting as much on your blogs. I still do read them but I just can't find the words right now. I am in that waiting period and I don't even know for sure what we will be doing (as far as IUI v. IVF.) It is in the hands of my insurance company at this point. I just came off of a 2 year break, did one cycle, and then went on another break. So I have nothing to report on the IF front and I find myself not knowing what to say to others as well. I am tired of all the waiting. If we will be doing IVF I wont be able to start until March because I have to wait to be able to cash in my 401k in the end of Feb. I feel like the whole IF world will be moving on without me. Don't get me wrong, I hope all of you do "move on" but at this point I'm just not sure what's going to happen next. I guess this is my feeble attempt to explain why I haven't been around as much as usual. I mean this is an infertility blog right? No one wants to hear about my personal life. But sorry folks, that is all I have to offer at this time. So please bear with me and hang around because I promise that eventually I will have something to report on the IF front.

Taxes: After doing our taxes the other day DH and I realized that we will be getting much more back than usual this time! We wtill have to enter the money we paid on our student loans but so far it looks good. We are wondering how to spend the money now. Obviously, the resposible thing to do would be to put it in savings and use it towards the IVF. But, we need a new TV desperately. Our TV goes back about once an hour and you have to literally bea thte crap out of it to get it to come back on. We really want an HD tv but we are hesitant to spend the $600 plus on it. I don't want people around us who have helped us so much with our yardsales and all to see that we bought a new HDTV. I dont want people to think that we are selfish or anything. The thing is, we have given up so many luxuries to save money for IF treatments. We have not been on a real vacation since our honeymoon, we haven't bought anything for ourselves or the house, we don't even buy new clothes. I wear the same two pairs of pants to work every week and alternate between three shirts because my clothes are starting to fall apart because I wear them and wash them too much. Don't get me wrong, we have money, we just are afraid to spend it on ourselves. I finally broke down and ordered three pairs of pants and two tops online this week. We have money to do these things we are just worried that we will need it for the IVF. As a result we are living well under our means. So, part of me rationalizes that we have every right to treat ourselves to a small luxery. Plus it wont take all of our refund and we can put the rest in the bank. I'm not sure yet what we will do.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. I will be back to post once I think of something to post about.

Thank You

Thank you for all of the kind words.

1. We finally finished our dinner theatre at church. For those of you who didn't know we were doing a dinner theatre called Uncle Phil's Diner. It was a lot fun but I am so glad it is done. If I get brave I may post some pictures (I know I always say I am going to post pictures but I have to remember to load them from my camera.) Now we finally have Sundays mostly free other than obviously going to church.

2. DH completed his schooling and is now a graduate of John's Hopkins University. He is now looking for a job as an Oracle dba. Now he is starting his schooling through the United Methodist Church to become a lay minister.

3. Someone sent me this in an e-mail and I thought it was cute:

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

Proverb 6th Graders Answers
Don't change horses- until they stop running.
Strike while the- bug is close.
It's always darkest before- Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of- termites.
You can lead a horse to water but- How?
Don't bite the hand that- looks dirty. (I love this one!)
No news is- impossible
A miss is as good as a- Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new- Math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll- stink in the morning. (LOL!!)
Love all, trust- Me.
The pen is mightier than the- pigs.
An idle mind is- the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's- pollution.
Happy the bride who- gets all the presents.
A penny saved is- not much. (smart kids)
Two's company, three's- the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what- you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs
with you, cry and- You have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as- Stevie Wonder. (LOL!!)
Children should be seen and not- spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed- get new batteries.
You get out of something only
what you- See in the picture on the box
When the blind lead the blind- get out of the way.
A bird in the hand- is going to poop on you.
Better late than- Pregnant

4. Lastly, I have a friend who has started a blog, go over and check it out. It's called I am NOT in control. Hopefully she doesn't mind that I am advertising her new blog.

Well, I guess that is about it for now. I am reading everyone's blogs and I am pleased that there is so much good news to go around but I am also saddened by the abundance of tragedies. I am keeping all of you in my prayer and I value your support more than you will ever know!

I,m Still Here!

I just wanted to let everyone know I’m not dead. Work has been super busy, the other paralegal I work with has been out all week so I have been even more busy. We are doing a dinner theatre at church this weekend so we have been practicing in the evenings. So needless to say I haven’t had a lot of time to myself to sit down and blog. I wish I could write more but I have a few more things to do before leaving work. I will update when I have more time.

Yummy!!!

I am so excited! Dh and I are having a date night at the Melting Pot tonight! We only go there once a year because it is so expensive but soooo worth it! Thanks for all of the cat poop assvice (he he...get it.) She does not have her butt sticking out of the box, she just flat out poops right outside of it. And, she doesn't seem to think she is doing anything wrong because she doesn't seem scared or anything. I wonder if it matters that her litter box in on carpet? I wonder if I moved it to the laundry room? The thing is we have two cats and two litter boxes. I can't bring myself to yell at her because she is so cute. Thanks for all of the hobby advice. I will definitely check some of them out. I like the idea about doing a scrapbook for my cats, I have tons of pictures of them. I do have a question for those of you that have had cysts. Is it normal to feel sharp pains in my ovaries? Sometimes I get really really sharp pains that take my breath away. I'm scared they are going to grow instead of shrink and burst or something. I am so bloated and it must have something to do with the cysts because af is almost gone. Also, it hurts to cough. If anyone had any insight I'd appreciate it. I don't know how long is normal for my ovaries to hurt when they have cysts and I don't want to go to the doctor for nothing. Well, I guess that is about it for now. I promise I will post pictures of the youth convention we went to on Monday or maybe some time this weekend. I want you all to see how many youth attended. It renews your faith in today's young people when you see just how many showed up to worship our Lord!

New Name & Other Randomness

First, to answer Nicole's question: YES! I do sell Longaberger baskets. You can check out my personal site here.

Second, I am thinking about changing the name of my blog. Not because I don't like the name but because it has the same name as the blog that I keep for family & friends. I think that if someone wanted they could easily find this blog by typing in the same name in Goo*gle. I like the name of my blog but I want this site to be for blogging/IF friends only. So, I am in the process of thinking of a new name.

Thirdly, I need a hobby. I mean, I have a lot of hobbies but none I feel like doing at this time. I love to knit, but I only know how to knit scarves and one can only knit so many scarves! I love to read but I have read all of my books and I don't know what else to read. I love Harry Potter books but I have read them a gazillion times. I also like books by Beverly Lewis. If anyone has any suggestion of any books that you have read I would love to hear them. I also love to scrapbook but I really don't have any desire to do so right now. I love to bake but then I eat what I make and we all know that can't be good. So, I am at a loss for what to do with my free time.

Lastly, why does my cat poop on the floor? We keep her litter box clean and she still poops right outside of the litter box on the floor. I just don't get it!! She has been doing it for about a year now almost every time she goes potty. Luckily she doesn't pee on the floor! Grrrrr!!

Benched

Well, my nurse called and as I suspected they are functional cysts therefore I can obviously not do any stims this month. She told me I don’t need to go on BCPs though. I guess since I don’t ovulate they aren’t worried that they will grow? Anyway, in the meantime I asked her if she could go ahead and start the process for the IVF. She said my RE was already writing a letter to my insurance company as we speak. I think he is offended that they are using a “chart” to instead of trusting his medical recommendations. So, if my insurance gives an all clear looks like my next cycle will be an IVF cycle. In the meantime I am going to try to build back up our savings as much as we can. I am actually pretty excited about taking a short break which is odd considering we just came off of a 2+ year break and only did one cycle of treatments. So I am to wait 30 days for af to show up (which she wont because I don’t ever get her on my own) and then if no af I will go back in for an u/s just to make sure that the cysts have gone away. Then we will go from there. So, while I won’t really be blogging about too many things IF related I will try to come up with some things to blog about. So don’t fear I will still be blogging. Thanks for the comments and like I said before, I hope I didn’t scare anyone away with my craziness!

Cysts

Well, I went for my baseline today and I have one 4cm cyst on each ovary. They did some blood work and they will call me and let me know what to do but I am pretty sure that I will be sitting out this month. This explains the awful pain I have been having lately though. I am feeling much better today and more relaxed, which is off considering I may be benched this cycle. I can’t say it was a total shock though because I knew something was going on in there. I asked God last night for a sign that I was making the right decision to do another IUI cycle and this is what I get, so, does that mean he gave me a sign that I did NOT make the right decision? I have to think about it a little more. I have never had cysts this big so it must have something to do with the Follistim. I’m not even sure what they do for cysts to help them clear up. I am really suprised that I am not too bummed out, I mean I just got off of a 2 year break from ttc but for some reason another small break doesn't sound so bad. I have noticed a drop in the number of comments on my posts so I am hoping that my craziness hasn’t scared everyone away!