25w2d

I know, my title sucks, seriously, I can never think of a creative title. Well, as the title says we are now in our 25th week. Almost to the third trimester! Craziness! Baby Noah is still doing great, bopping around like crazy. He is definitely a night owl just like his Daddy. He doesn't really wake up until around 10 or so and is busy as can be at 11 at night. I love watching my belly wiggle and I love seeing the look on Shawn's face when baby gives him a swift kick in the palm. I still feel like I am living a dream. I have to convince myself that I really am pregnant and there is actually a baby in there. I still find myself surrounded by the same fears though. I'm still fearful something is going to happen to the baby. I know that I am doing the right things though and that ultimately it is all in God's hands. I have finally gotten my blood sugars under control. My fasting numbers are still high so we are still adjusting my evening insulin but as far as after meal sugars go they have been great! I have cut bread out of my breakfast and that seems to have done the trick. If I start out with good numbers after breakfast everything else seems to follow unless I eat something very carb heavy. I'm actually really proud of myself. I have never been able to follow a diet. Hopefully after baby is born I can continue to eat this way. I have only gained 12 pounds so far since the beginning of the pregnancy and I think that is pretty good for me. So far my fears of exploding into a huge fatty haven't been realized, lets hope I can keep it that way. I'm feeling pretty good. My back hasn't been giving me much trouble which is great. I'm still feeling pretty tired by the end of the day and the house still isn't as clean as I would like it. Now I have come down with some sort of cold and I am feeling pretty awful. Right now it seems to be a sore throat and a "sick feeling." This usually turns into a chest cold for me so lets hope it doesn't this time.

Last Friday Shawn and I got an unwelcome surprise in the form of a knock on our front door at 6a.m. It was our neighbor to tell us that his car and ours had been broken into over the night. They didn't steal anything from our neighbor's car but they did however steal our digital camera which we stupidly left in the car. I was so upset! It wasn't a cheap camera, it was a $600 camera! It still had the pictures from our day trip as well as several belly pictures. Images that I will never get back again. We did file a claim with our homeowners insurance but we have a $500 deductible so we only got less than $100 back for the camera. So now we have no camera at all! Luckily, MIL will let us borrow her small digital camera. All in all, I'm glad they didn't break into our house but it still pisses me off!

Well, that's about it for now!

24 Weeks & 6 Years

No, I don’t mean it has been 6 years since I have posted (although it seems like it.) Again, I apologize for the lack of posting. I have been so busy at work and exhausted by the time that I get home that I haven’t had much energy to sit down and type a post. Nothing exciting is going on here, same old same old. We hit 24 weeks yesterday! I had a bit of a stomach virus yesterday so I had to call out of work. I ended up sleeping all day and I feel better now. Baby Noah is moving around like crazy and his kicks are getting stronger and stronger. I have noticed his “busy time” seems to be in the evening from about 7 to 11 p.m. he kicks during the day but is really active at night. I hope this is no indication of his sleep pattern when he is born but I have a feeling it is. Shawn is now able to feel him move from the outside and he gets the most amazed look on his face when he does. It is so cute! I have also noticed that he prefers the left side and sometimes when he sleeps my belly is lopsided to the left! My blood sugars are doing okay. We have had to continue to adjust the insulin and will probably have to do so throughout the whole pregnancy but the doctor said even though my levels are higher than normal they are still pretty good compared to other people. At my last appointment I asked my OB what the future holds as far as any tests that need to be done. She said that I will have a growth u/s every 3 weeks to make sure baby isn’t getting too big or not growing enough. We will continue to do them every 3 weeks unless they notice he is not growing properly and then they will do them more often. I will also be doing an NST at every visit from here on out to check on baby’s well being. I’m not sure what this entails so if anyone has had one and wants to share their experiences let me know. I can’t believe how close we are to the third trimester! I hope and pray that everything continues to go as well as it has been. I know it hasn’t been perfect but I’ll take it!

I also found out my shower date is November 22nd! I am so excited! My MIL let me look over the guest list and she is inviting about 70 people! My bridal shower was huge and it was loads of fun so I am sure the baby shower will be the same. Someone or several someones have already purchased our entire nursery set! I told my MIL that the shower doesn’t need to be co-ed but I want it to be a shower for both Shawn and I. I want Shawn to be a part of it because it is just as much his baby as it is mine. Plus, if there is going to be 60-70 people there I will need help opening gifts. I also told my MIL that I will help her make the center pieces. She is planning on doing a diaper cake with a different theme for each of the tables. She showed me the invites (there isn’t much about this shower that is a surprise but that’s the way I wanted it) and they are Noah’s Arc theme, too cute! I suggested the diaper lottery as a game (each person bring a pack of diapers and enters their guess for the birth date and wins a prize if they get it right) but my MIL wants to do the thing where you ask people to bring books instead of cards. I would much rather have the diapers than the books but she is planning the shower so I didn’t say anything. Either way it will be great and I love to read so I will have lots to read to the baby.

Shawn and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary on September 14th. That also marked 6 years since we began trying to have a baby. We didn’t really do much to celebrate and we never get each other gifts. We did take a day trip this Saturday and that was nice. First we went to Arlington cemetery and took some pictures of some of my family member’s graves for my family tree. Then we went to Mt. Vernon (the place where Washington lived and is now buried) and toured the house and the grounds. It was nice to get out of the house for a change. This weekend will be an in the house weekend though because our house is a mess due to my laziness and needs a serious cleaning! We also need to start emptying out Noah’s room to shampoo the carpets and clean out the closet so when the furniture arrives we will have somewhere to put it. Right now the room serves as storage and the “litter box room.”

Well, that’s about it for now, I wish I had more to say. I will definitely try to post more often. If you could, let me know you are still reading so I know I still have some readers out there somewhere!

22 Weeks & Ultrasound Results

Wow, we had a busy day today! We had two different ultrasounds done today. For the first ultrasound we had to travel to the University of Maryland Fetal Care Center to have the fetal echo done. Noah was his usual anwry self and was stubborn when it came to showing the tech what she needed to see. But after a stern talking to from me (and me doing a couple of jumping jacks for good measure) he finally decided to behave. The tech said that all of his little parts look perfect and his heart looks perfect too! He is still currently breech, sitting head up, feet down. His little head is up by my belly button and his little feet, ankles crossed, are sitting directly on my cervix (which explains the pain when he kicks.) We also learned that he weighs one pound! The second ultrasound that we had was at Kaiser and was a follow-up to the "big" ultrasound. This tech was much much nicer and did let Shawn in the room. She also explained everything she saw and what she was doing. Noah was wired during this ultrasound and moved all over the place! He kicked me several times in the cervix during the ultrasound which made me jump off the table and scare the crap out of the ultrasound tech. He waved his little hand at us and let us see his little fingers and his little feet (too cute!) He also let all three techs that looked at him see his "boy parts" so he is definitely a boy! I will have to go back to the Fetal Care Center every month for ultrasounds to keep track of his growth but for now everything looks perfect. Anyway, I know you really came here to see pictures so here they are:
This first one is a picture of his "boy parts." It was much clearer when they were showing it on the screen but you get the idea.
This one is a picture of his face looking forward. You can see his little eye sockets and nose.

This one is a picture of his little legs and feet. You can see his thigh to the right of your screen and his little ankle and feet to the left. Too cute!

This one is one of my favorites! This is a picture of one of his little legs and foot. He was hugging the placenta like a pillow and if you look closely you can see his little fingers too!

This is a profile shot. Hopefully this one is self explanatory.

This is another profile shot. If you look closely you can see that his mouth is slightly open almost like he is smiling, you can also see a little leg too!

Here is one more profile shot of the little one with his arm above his head.

What else can I say ladies, I am so in love!

21 Weeks Down, 19 to Go!

Wow, I can’t believe we are already half way through this pregnancy. Sometimes when I look back it seems that it has taken forever and other times it seems like it has flown by. So you’re probably wondering what I have been up to lately? I’m not even sure if I have any readers left, I have been a crappy blogger and I know it. It’s hard because I am no longer doing treatments and I don’t have anything to talk about other than the pregnancy. Do all of you continually want to hear about that? My life just isn’t that exciting right now. However, in the event that you do care about my boring existence (and I hope someone does) here is what has been going on with me:

I’m feeling okay other than the back issues which I expect to have throughout the whole pregnancy. I have been feeling baby Noah kick stronger and stronger. Since about 19 weeks it went from teenie tiny taps to thumps. I still can’t feel him from the outside but I can’t really be sure because he never kicks in the same spot twice. He is a busy bee! I can’t wait until Shawn can feel it! It is the most amazing feeling in the world and I am in awe every single time that there is a living being inside of me. It feels so odd to feel something moving inside of you. I also think he likes to sleep curled up on the left side because I can often feel stretching or tightening on the left side and then I will have a small hard lump on my left side.

As far as the GD goes my sugars have been running a little high for my fasting sugars and also the one after breakfast. I saw my OB on Friday and he bumped up my insulin in the evening and also added 5 units to the mornings right before I eat. So now I am up to 2 shots a day. Not fun but I’m not complaining because I am thankful that everything else seems to be going well. I have to get a special ultrasound done on September 10th called a fetal echo. I believe it is an ultrasound specifically to look at the baby’s heart. The reason I have to get the ultrasound done is because of the GD. I am hoping that they look at other parts of the baby as well because I really want some updated pictures and a confirmation that he really is a boy since our “big” ultrasound was nothing but a “big” disappointment. I will feel much better when I know all is well with his heart because he has never been in a favorable position for them to check out his little heart.

I had my first (and hopefully last) unexpected visit to the L&D at 19w6d. I began having some tightening pains throughout the day that were becoming increasingly painful. I called my OB around 4:30 and they said that because they were about to close I had to go to L&D. They hooked me up to a contraction monitor and although I could continually feel the pains nothing at all was showing up on the monitor so I have no idea what the pains were and I haven’t had them since. They also did an internal (I HATE these things, they are painful as hell!) which showed my cervix was still nice and closed. They did a quickie u/s just to check the baby’s heartbeat. I didn’t get to see anything except for cute little feet and a beating heart. The most annoying part of the whole visit was waiting in the waiting room with a young couple who had to be the most annoying people in the world. I didn’t feel good and really didn’t feel like “chatting it up” with a pregnant college co-ed and her annoying boyfriend. She was there because her “calves hurt.” The boyfriend was asking us all kinds of questions and it took everything I had to not tell them to take their fertile asses over to the corner and leave me the hell alone. They acted like they were on a trip to the zoo or something, “oh, look at this” “look at that.” In the end I’m glad it all turned out fine and I hope that the next time I am there is not until baby is ready to come out.

I also found myself on “the other side of the fence” recently. It wasn’t so long ago that the sight of a pregnant woman would send me into an emotional tailspin and unfortunately I was the source of someone else’s pain recently. Shawn and I met some friends at the Fair a couple of weeks ago and Shawn’s friend’s wife’s sister (you got that all that right?) When we were walking around the sister suddenly burst into tears and rushed off. We had no idea why she was upset and I didn’t find out until about a week later. Apparently the sister and her husband were recently told that the only way they could have a baby was to do IVF. I don’t know the specifics but I do know it had something to do with her husband. Apparently my pregnancy made her upset and she had to rush off. No one in her family knew anything about them having problems conceiving and didn’t find out until they questioned her about why she was upset. It made me sad to know that my pregnancy could cause someone else pain. I guess I just always assumed that somehow because it took us so long that people would automatically know. Maybe I should get a tattoo or wear a shirt?

Lastly, we finally ordered our nursery furniture. We went back up to the Amish store and ordered it. It is made of oak and will be hand made just for our little one! They said it will be ready in 10-12 weeks which I think is perfect timing.

Registry Madness Leads to Pregnant Woman's Confusion

Hello there! Once again I have been a bad blogger and for that I apologize! Every time I think I have a blog entry planned out I sit down to type and I forget everything I was going to say. I am doing fine, baby Noah is doing fine. I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday and I made sure to tell the NP (both OBs were on vacation) how awful the u/s tech was and how I did not want to go back to him. His report still wasn’t in on Friday nor was it in yesterday so I need to wait for his report to come in so that my OB can order a follow-up u/s. The NP also told me that I will need to get a special ultrasound called a fetal echo. Some sort of ultrasound on the baby’s heart due to the fact that I am on insulin. I am supposed to call and schedule that today. The u/s will be done at University of Maryland Hospital by someone specifically trained to do these types of u/s. I also asked if there was any possibility that I would be allowed to come in every 4 weeks like “normal” pregnant women as opposed to every 2 weeks. The NP, as well as the nurse I spoke to yesterday, told me that I will most likely continue to come in every 2 weeks because I am high risk (I really HATE that phrase.) The nurse also told me that starting at 27 weeks I will have to come in every 2 weeks anyway. So it looks like I will be seeing a lot of my doctor over the next few months.

We registered on Saturday! It was way more overwhelming than I expected. Mainly in the feeding department. There are so many choices about which bottles to use that we got totally confused. We ended up scanning all of the ones we liked and then going home and reading the reviews and narrowing it down.

I also noticed that registering brought out all kinds of assvice from people I didn’t know. One woman saw me looking at slings in BRU and told me that a sling is a waste of money because her baby didn’t like it. I just smiled and nodded and scanned the sling. Just because her baby didn’t like it doesn’t mean mine won’t. Another lady came up to me and told me I MUST get this specific type of stroller. Again I just smiled and walked away. I mean seriously, am I the only person who doesn’t feel comfortable going up to strangers and telling them what to do? All in all it was a fun experience but I’m still not sure if we picked the right items. I figure we have some time yet before people start buying things off of the registry so we can make changes if we need to. If anyone has any free time and is interested in checking out our registries and letting me know what you think I would be grateful. You can go on BRU’s website and also on Baby Depot’s website and search “Morrisa Vollmerhausen” and you should find our registries. I’m not looking for anyone to lecture me about why I shouldn’t use a sling, or that a swing is a waste of money because your baby didn’t like it. I know all babies are different and my baby may hate something that someone else’s loved, or the other way around. What I am looking for is whether I missed anything, something that you used a lot that I didn’t think of, whether there is a particular type of product that I have on there that you had problems with…etc. I will leave you with a few specific questions about the registry and a question about doctor’s appointments.

-Breast pump- rent or buy?: I put two different breast pumps on the registry because I wasn’t sure which one I liked better but they are so expensive! The chances of anyone actually buying it off of the registry is pretty slim. So we will probably end up paying for one ourselves. My question is, is it better to rent one from the hospital or buy one? If we do end up renting one will I still need all of the accessories we registered for? Did I miss any accessories? For instance, they had nipple shields there, do I need that? What is the best type of storage for breast milk, there were so many different options? HELP!

-Bottle sterilizer or dishwasher?: For some reason I was under the assumption that you could wash bottles in the dishwasher, is this not true? We registered for a bottle sterilizer but do we really need it?

- Which type of bottle is best?: We registered for three different types of bottles, one we liked because it said it was like the breast but it didn’t have drop-ins and wasn’t BPA free as far as I can tell. We also registered for the Playtex drop-ins because I figured they would be easier to clean and I would only need to clean the nipples and could maybe even store the breast milk in the bags? The last ones were the Medula bottles that were the same brand as the pump. Any suggestions? What worked best for you or what did you register for?

- When did you start feeling definite stronger movements? I’m getting impatient! I’m still only feeling little flutters and very infrequently, really only once a day.

- Lastly, why do you need to be seen more often once you hit 27 weeks? What do they do that is different at those appointments as opposed to what they do now (Check HB, weight, BP, urine)?

I’m sure I have more questions but that is all I can think of for now. My next post coming up may be what I think about the contestants in the Big Brother House so far. Do I have any Big Brother fans reading?

P.S. 19 weeks tomorrow! I can’t believe we are almost ½ way there!

P.S.S. My one year blogoversary is in 5 days!!!

I can't think of a title...17w6d

Hmmm…where to start. Well, I am extremely glad that we got to have the u/s at the Genetic Center a couple of weeks ago because my experience yesterday for our “big u/s” was nothing like I imagined it to be. First and foremost let me reiterate what I have been saying ever since I started blogging, I HATE my insurance company. The whole experience was nothing like I expected it to be and was honestly flat out infuriating. Let me make a list of the reasons why the ultrasound experience sucked:

-They wouldn’t let Shawn come in the room with me! What ultrasound tech does not let the husband and father of the child in the room during the ultrasound?

- The tech was rude and very hard to understand with a thick accent. He was very to the point, didn’t describe anything he was doing unless I asked. He did things so quick and went zooming around I had no idea what was what.

- The ultrasound machine must have been manufactured in 1950 and the picture was so blurry I couldn’t even make anything out.

- The baby was sitting straight up, butt down facing my spine. Not my fault the position he is in, I guess he likes that position. He was in a similar position last time only he was facing forward. The tech repeatedly said things like “this baby is not cooperating” or “this baby is difficult.” First of all, this is the first time I became a bit defensive, don’t call my child “this baby,” makes him sound like some sort of animal or sub-human. He doesn’t know he is supposed to be posing for an ultrasound for crying out loud! He kept on saying “this is a difficult examination” and “I am not pleased.” We couldn’t get the baby to turn. He asked me to get up and walk around to see if he will turn. I told him I would but I didn’t think he would turn. He asked why and I told him because if this is my child he will be stubborn and if that’s where he wants to be then he will stay there until he decides to move, and I was right, he didn’t budge. I don’t blame him, the tech was pressing so hard on my belly I was crying out from pain. So basically the tech gave up. He measured a few things which all measured right on track (not because he told me but because I watched the calculations on the screen.) I asked him if he could peek between the legs and confirm it is a boy and he said the baby wasn’t in a good position. Hello? He had just got done taking a picture of his legs sticking straight out, but he couldn’t look between them? I asked him if he could at least try and he said no.

- He continually told me that 18 weeks is too early to do the ultrasound because the baby is too small. I told him he would have to talk to my doctor who put the order in for the u/s to be done between 16 and 18 weeks.

At the end he told me we could call Shawn in for a minute “but there is really nothing to see because ‘this baby’ isn’t cooperating.” So I said yes please call him in while I was trying to refrain from throwing the u/s monitor at his head. When Shawn came in the tech asked me if I was going to explain the “situation” to him. There was no “situation,” the baby was just not in a good position so we have to come back, no big deal. So he told us we have to come back in 4 weeks. So when I see my doctor on Friday I have to ask him to put another order in. And you better believe that I am not going back to that center or that tech and I will let me doctor know what an ass this guy was and how the policy to not allow my husband in the room makes no sense.

So anyway, we have no pictures because he wouldn’t give us any and the quality sucked anyway. But, I am not as upset as I would have been had we not had the earlier ultrasound. The tech at the Genetic Center said she was positive it was a boy so until we get our next u/s at 22 weeks we will assume it is a boy. I’m still registering on Saturday though. If for some odd reason it turns out to be a girl we will just switch the gender specific items on the registry to girl items. I’m actually kind of proud of our little baby, shows that he is stubborn just like his Mommy and doesn’t take crap from anyone. I was actually hoping he would give the tech the finger! So, no miraculous amazing big u/s story from me, but the important thing is that he is still in there, heart beating away, measuring right on track. I’m not really concerned about any issues with him structurally because the Genetic Center u/s was very detailed and everything was fine there. That’s all for now folks. If you have any advice for registering I’d be happy to hear it.

And the Bad Blogger Award Goes to... (17w3d)

ME!! Yes, I know. I have been a bad blogger lately. In my defense though we had a huge filing to prepare at work which took up all of my time and left me exhausted when I got home. It's finally over so things should go back to normal now. Things have been going well so far. We actually have our original "big u/s" on Monday so we will get to see baby Noah again and verify that he is in fact a boy. Then next weekend we will be registering! I am actually so excited about registering! We have already been to Babies R Us twice just to see what they have. My shower isn't until November but family has been bugging us about where we are registered already. As for me I'm feeling okay. My blood sugar has been good but I am really struggling to satisfy my sweet tooth! I love to bake and I haven't had the urge to bake because I can't eat what I am good at baking. I have been looking up some recipes that use Splenda and I may try some of them but it still seems like they are loaded with carbs. My nipples (sorry if TMI) have been feeling very raw so we went to BRU and found a moisturizer made just for boobies! It helps a lot. Yesterday I found a little drop of something clear coming out of my nipple but I haven't seen anything since. The thing that has been giving me the most trouble is my back. I am sure I mentioned on here before that I have a herniated disc in my back. Well lately my back pain has been almost unbearable. I have always suffered with some mild back pain but now it hurts to walk sometimes. We went to the fair today to meet some friends and walk around a bit. After about only 2 hours of walking around my back and hip hurt terribly. It still hurts now! I am sure it is only going to get worse but if some back pain is the worst thing I will have to deal with during the remainder of this pregnancy then I will be thankful. As long as I can still walk I will be just fine! The most exciting thing that has been happening over the past week or so is that I think I am beginning to feel the baby move! IT just feels like tiny little taps on the inside of my belly. It doesn't happen regularly and I have to be sitting really still to feel it. I can't wait until I can feel him move more and I really can't wait until Shawn can feel it too. In fact, while I am sitting here I am feeling little taps, too cool! I still feel like this is all a dream or a sick joke and one day I will wake up and realize it isn't real. I'm not sure I will ever get over that feeling until I hold him in my arms and know that he is okay. The doppler has been a real blessing and I am so glad that we decided to get it. Not only does it help to calm my fears but it gives Shawn and I some great bonding time with baby. Someone asked about whether I would recommend other women to get the quad screen. Honestly, if I had to do it again I would not get it done. My recommendation is that if you would not terminate if something was wrong then I wouldn't get the test. For me, the test caused a lot of undue anxiety. But, we are all different and some people might feel like they want to know if there is a possibility if something is wrong. Anyway, I wish I had more to say but thankfully nothing has been going on lately. I will try to be a better blogger and a better commenter, I promise! I will also post again after our u/s on Monday and share pictures too!

Genetic Center Results (16w1d)

First of all, I apologize for not writing this blog post sooner. I didn’t get to work until 1:00 so I didn’t take a lunch. Anyway, when we arrived at the genetic center we first spoke with the genetic counselor, who seriously did not look old enough to be doing that job. She explained the results from our quad screen and went over exactly what DS is and what causes it. She explained that the quad screen is just a screen and not a diagnostic test. She went over our family history and explained that the only way to know for sure is to get an amnio which we declined. Then we went into the ultrasound room. They had a huge screen on the wall which showed everything so we didn’t have to stare at a little screen. She checked the baby from head to toe. Everything measured right on target and there were no markers for downs (cyst on brain, spot on heart, enlarged kidneys, enlarged bladder, etc.) Baby was wiggling all around (which I still can’t feel!) and drinking amniotic fluid (aka baby pee.) Baby was stubborn and sitting almost Indian style at first so I had to get up and go pee and shake things up a bit and then she was able to get the measurements she needed. We do need to go back in three weeks so she can look at the heart because baby is still a little too small for that. All in all I am extremely relieved and feel like I got the reassurance I needed. Obviously there is always some remote possibility that something could still be wrong but I am not interested in the amnio.

So, I suppose you are wondering whether we were able to get a look at the goods huh? We got a quick peek at first and then baby crossed its legs. After I got up to go pee the legs opened back up and we were able to get a pretty good look at the goods. And…I was right, we have ourselves a baby boy! We saw his little baby “pee pee” and are pretty confident it is a boy. The tech said it was definitely a boy so hopefully she is right. We still have our big u/s for the 11th so we will double check then. So, without further ado, let me introduce our little miracle Noah Michael Vollmerhausen.

Profile shot.

Front view (alien picture)

The “money” shot (this one is not of the "pee pee" itself, just his little "jewels".

We picked the name Noah because we just like the name. The name Michael is special to us both because Shawn and his dad’s middle name is Michael and my father’s name was Michael.

We did tell our parents the sex and we will tell our grandparents tonight then we will tell everyone else in the family/friends.

Thank you a million times over for all of your love and support. The past couple of days have truly been some of the roughest days in my life. I am a believer and I know that God would never give us more than we can handle and I will love this baby no matter what. Hugs and kisses to you all and let me know what you think of the name!

16w0d & Quad Screen Results

I didn't really want to get the Quad Screen anyway because I have heard horror stories of people getting bad results and worrying over nothing, but I decided to do it anyway. And what do you know? My quad screen came back with a 1 in 39 chance of Downs. The other numbers were fine but because of this number I have to go to a genetic counselor and get a level 3 u/s at a genetic place. The good news is that we get to see our little Doozer TOMORROW! I'm scared to death! I will obviously love this baby no matter what and even if it does have downs I would never terminate, but I can't help but be upset over the possibilities. You always want your child to be perfect and when there is a chance that something may not be right it is devastating. I am hopeful that everything will be fine but I can't help but look at the numbers. Why is it so high? I'm not over 35 so that didn't factor into it. So anyway, I am a mess these past 2 days since hearing the results. We go tomorrow at 10 a.m. to meet with the genetics center and to get the u/s. Please, if you pray, please send a quick prayer our way for the health of our little one.

15w2d

Hello there! I bet you thought I fell off the face of the earth? Nope, I’m still here and all is well. I guess I owe an explanation as to why I had to go invite only huh? It had nothing to do with the comments we received from the article, I knew that was going to happen and didn’t let it get to me. A bit of background first:

I have a co-worker who we will call Nark. Meaning she squeals on everyone for everything. I had previously provided her a link to my old blog which I have since deactivated so that when you visit it it will direct you to this blog. I also disabled the old blog so that you cannot find it by searching since I knew people might be searching for my blog since the article referenced the name but didn’t link to the blog. (Hopefully I’m making sense so far.) So, to make a long story short Nark had been visiting my blog every day since the article came out. How do I know? For one I knew by checking my Site Meter, for two, I know because she said something to my co-worker about one of blog entries being “tmi” (the one about my swollen parts.) I mean it is a pregnancy site right? I didn’t say anything because I knew that since the article was out everyone I knew would be able to find my blog if they cared to do so. So, on Friday afternoon Nark comes into my office and tells me that one of the partners is surfing my blog (gee I wonder who forwarded them the link?). While I didn’t think they would be interested I wasn’t too concerned. Then the partner I work for calls me into his office and tells me that they are concerned about my internet use because some of the timestamps on my blog and during work and non-lunch hours. I explained to him that the timestamps are incorrect because some of them say 5 a.m. and I am never up that early. He insisted that I must be blogging during work time and that they don’t even want me blogging at all on their computer because I am “publishing something.” I told him that wasn’t fair because what about other people who went on MySpace and posted at work? He said “blogging is different.” I told him while I agree that I shouldn’t be blogging on work time (and I never was) I don’t think it is fair to monitor what I do during my lunch with making my blog a specific target and not anyone else. He agreed that I could blog on my lunch and before work. I left feeling pretty ticked off that they would peruse my blog for the purpose of trying to find something that I may have done wrong. Then when I got home I checked my Site Meter because I was curious about how long they spent on there and what they were looking at. I found that they had been on my blog for over 2 hours, read almost every single post including the comments, AND did a search for the word “boss.” I was really pissed by this point. I really felt like they were looking really hard to find something to implicate me in some way. I was hurt that they accused me of blogging on company time and wouldn’t even consider the fact that the time stamps might be wrong. I am sure that Nark directed them to my blog with the sole intention to get me into trouble. I was hurt that I forwarded the article to everyone I knew because I was proud and they turned it around and used it to try to get me into trouble. So, I decided to go invite only. It has never been brought up again and I am over it for the most part. And can you believe that Nark had the nerve to ask me for an invite? So anyway, that is why I went invite only so that my job does not continue to use the blog as an investigation tool.

Anyway. I have been doing okay. I am 15w2d today! I had been having some pain in my lower pelvic area for a couple of days and suspected it might be a UTI so I headed over to the OB on Thursday. Sure enough I was right. So now I am taking antibiotics to clear that up. It feels better but not totally better yet. I am also having some pretty painful RLP. My doctor also commented about my swollen ankles again on Thursday. My ankles have been swelling every single day. My blood pressure was great so at least we don’t have to worry about that for now. She did say that with the PCOS I am at higher risk for preeclampsia and so she wants me to do the 24 hour urine test this weekend. The thought of peeing in a jug and keeping it in my fridge totally grosses me out. I’m kind of confused as to why she wants me to do the test but something about finding a baseline. She also had to bump up my evening insulin from 20 to 25 because my morning sugars are getting high again. All of this combined sent me into kind of a panic mode Thursday night. I was angry at my body because of the PCOS and how even now that I am pregnant I can’t be “normal.” It made me terrified to think of everything that could go wrong. I don’t trust my body at all and that scares me. I’m scared that the swelling is somehow an omen that my blood pressure will get out of control at some point. I love this baby so much and I am doing everything in my power to keep it safe and healthy. I am dealing with this horrible diabetes diet that forces me to eat things I don’t like, I am sticking myself in the stomach every single night and will continue to have to do so until I deliver, I am following everything the doctor tells me to do. Still I don’t trust my body. I just wanted to be a normal pregnant woman but I can’t even do that. I am not complaining, I promise. I know how incredibly blessed I am to be here. I also know that God had a hand in creating this baby and I can only hope and pray that He will help me keep it safe.

Anyway, I guess that is about it for now. I really hope you all continue to comment and read even though I have gone invite only and I hope that you understand why I felt I had to do so. I love each and every one of you and want to thank you for all of your love and support, I could never do this without you.

Ob Visit

Two posts in one day, whoa! Just wanted to update everyone on my OB visit today. Doctor said I am doing great with my blood sugars and that I can now come in every 2 weeks instead of every week (I had no idea I would be going to the OB so much this early.) Baby is good, h/b was 155. He told me I have some edema in my ankles (I didn’t notice it) but when I left and had to walk back to my building in the heat my hands swelled again. I told the doctor about my hands swelling and he didn’t seem concerned. He also told me I don’t have to sleep on my left side. He said they usually only tell that to patients who have babies that aren’t growing correctly. He said you will know if your uterus is pressing on any arteries and if I start to feel lightheaded while lying on my back obviously switch to the side. I’m happy about that because it is much more comfortable to sleep on my back for now. But the most exciting news is that we have our big u/s scheduled! On August 11th at 5:30 p.m. we will hopefully find out if Doozer is a boy or a girl! I can’t wait and I am so excited! I added a countdown thingie on the side but I can’t figure out how to resize it. Oh well…

14 Weeks & Assvice

Okay folks, back to business as usual. Today is 14 weeks! Yay Doozer! Doozer is still doing well as far as I can tell. We still listen to the h/b every single night and it still brings me great joy to hear it. How am I feeling at 14 weeks? I'm not sick in the mornings any more. I still feel incredibly hungry in the mornings and I will occasionally gag if I don't eat but no puking. I am not as tired and have some more energy. Not a lot more energy but some. I am having what the doctor told me is round ligament pain. I am very sore feeling when I walk on the inside of my legs right between my legs. I also feel like I have to pee more now than I did before. I thought the uterus was supposed to rise but it seems to still be squishing my little bladder. I am having a horrible time trying to sleep. I am coughing because of allergies, it gives me a dry throat feeling. On top of that I have to get up every hour to pee (I'm not kidding) and I read in my books that I am now not supposed to sleep on my back but on my side because it could cut off the blood circulation to the baby. Well I am a back-sleeper so this has been very difficult for me. I go to sleep on my side but wake up on my back. So I am constantly waking up to reposition myself on my side. I also found something new last night. This part might be a little too TMI but oh well. For the past couple of days I have felt like there is something between my legs that doesn't belong. I took a mirror and looked last night and my lips down there look bigger. They look like they hand lower and are slightly larger. I am assuming this is a pregnancy thing but I'm going to ask my doctor just to be sure. Sorry for the TMI. :) Also, on Saturday we went to an outdoor party and I was outside in the heat from 2:00 until about 8:00. Towards the end of the day I noticed my hands and fingers were swollen. My fingers were so swollen that my "fake bling ring" (because I can't fit my real rings on) was tight. My ankles weren't swollen though. Then I figured it was about time to get out of the heat. I am assuming all of these things are normal pregnancy things but I will ask my OB at my blood sugar appointment today. Hopefully this will be my last weekly appointment since I my sugars are doing so well. Also, no more spotting which is great!

Now on to the assvice portion of my post. Here is a little background first: I am well aware of what I am not supposed to eat and drink during pregnancy. I have spoken to my doctor and I feel confident eating turkey sandwiches from my favorite deli because I am familiar with them and have been eating there for a while. I also allow myself one caffeinated drink per day. the reason I do this is because I cannot have anything with sugar like sprite or anything that doesn't have caffeine. I LOVE diet soda and since I can't have any sweets which I also love I treat myself and allow myself to have one diet soda a day. So, at this party I was enjoying my diet Pepsi for the day. A lady comes up to me later on (someone I don't even know) and starts out by saying "I was deciding on whether I should say something to you or not..." We all know as soon as someone utters those words that means that they are going to spew useless information and assvice that is none of their business. So while I has the urge to advise her that she shouldn't say anything if she had to think about whether it was appropriate to say it I kept my mouth shut. She proceeded to tell me how I shouldn't be drinking caffeine while I am pregnant and when she saw me drinking the diet soda she was "concerned." I explained to her (I really didn't need to explain but I did anyway) that I had discussed it with my doctor and that I was allowing myself to have one caffeinated drink a day. I mean seriously, maybe if I was drinking a beer or something she may have had a right to say something, but I just really thought it was odd. So I guess that makes me a horrible Mommy for drinking on caffeinated drink a day, for shame!

No Autographs Please...

He he, well, here's the article in the Baltimore Sun I was telling you about. I think the article is great and it features a few other IF Bloggers too. Unfortunately the online version doesn't show the photo. It's kind of a goofy photo anyway. But if you want to see the photo and you live in the area you can see the entire article in the Today section of the Baltimore Sun. What do you think?

Little Scare

Well I had a tiny scare this morning. When I woke up this morning and wiped I was spotting. I called the doctor's office just to let them know since I had an appointment at 10:30 anyway. They told me to lay down until it was time to leave and drink water. Of course I was worried and I made Dh get out the doppler to listen to baby. When we found baby (which never takes long now) I felt a bit better but still worried. When I got to the doctor he did the exam and stuck one of those jumbo q-tips in my cervix to make sure it was closed, which it was. When he pulled it out it was filled with blood. He showed it to me and told me that the membrains in my cervix are very close to the surface of my cervix and are bleeding. It doesn't hurt the baby, baby is fine with a h/b in the 150's, but he said it is something that could continue to make me bleed throughout the entire pregnancy. He used silver nitrate to "burn" the membrains to keep them from bleeding. When I heard him say he was going to burn them I was a little concerned. I pictured him with a blow torch frying my cervix to a crisp! But, he used these things that looked like long matches. It didn't hurt, I didn't feel it at all but he told me I may have some cramping which I am. He said hopefully this will take care of it so that I wont bleed anymore. I was told to go home and stay off of my feet today to give my cervix a chance to heal. He was pleased with my blood sugars so I will stay on the same does of the insulin and go back again next week. I am chilling out on the couch now resting. I am cramping but I'm trying to not let it bother me. I am still spotting a bit when I wipe but he said I would today. So, we had a small scare but overall it wasn't bad. I hope this is the biggest scare we get!

Dear Doozer

Dear Doozer,

This is your Mommy. You probably can’t hear my voice quite yet but I read that in the next couple of weeks you will be able to hear me talking! I already talk to you a lot anyway though. Mommy is so excited to finally be in the second trimester! Mommy has been trying to read a lot of books and information to learn all about you and how you are growing. Mommy is also trying very hard to take good care of herself and be healthy and strong. The doctor tells Mommy that she has gestational diabetes which means that Mommy has to be careful what she eats, monitor her blood sugar, and give herself an insulin shot every night. Don’t worry though, Mommy is used to giving herself shots (wait until Mommy and Daddy tell you all they went through to get you here) and it doesn’t hurt.

Mommy and Daddy listen to your little heartbeat every single night. It is the highlight of my day and I look forward to it all day. Your little heart beats so fast, it sounds like a galloping horse! Mommy especially loves to hear you kick with the Doppler. It makes Mommy & Daddy giggle to hear you kick and move around. Mommy can’t feel your kicks yet but I am sure waiting for that moment. Every once in a while I try to sit really still and see if I can feel any “flutters” but I haven’t felt anything yet. That’s okay though, it’s still early and in the next few weeks Mommy will hopefully begin to feel you move.

I can’t wait for you to meet your Daddy. I know you are going to love him! Daddy puts his hand on my belly every morning and every night and tells you how much he loves you. Your Daddy is the most amazing man, a wonderful husband, and I know he will be an amazing father. He takes such good care of me and you. Your Daddy has the most gentle and kind touch and strong loving arms that I know will hold you tight whenever you need it. Your Daddy is so silly and full of life, just like big kid! Daddy makes Mommy smile and giggle when she needs it and I know he will do the same for you. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if your first smile is reserved especially for your Daddy!

Mommy has been thinking a lot about whether you are a boy or a girl. Just a few more weeks until we can find out! Mommy and Daddy think you are a boy (just a feeling) but we don’t care either way. We will be happy no matter what! Just continue to grow healthy and strong. Little miracle, there are so many people who already love you and can’t wait to meet you. Please continue to grow healthy and strong so you can come and meet your Mommy & Daddy who have waited so long for you! I love you!

Love,

Mommy

13 Weeks!

I know, I know, I have been a bad blogger, a whole week without an update! But I have had a busy week and I have so much to tell you! First, the most exciting news, I am 13 weeks today and according to some of my books I am in the second trimester! Some of my books say 14 weeks starts the second trimester but I'm going with 13 because it is closer! I am so thrilled and excited to be in the second trimester. I never thought in a million years I would be able to say that! We celebrated by listening to baby on the doppler this morning. We always listen at night after dinner so it was a nice treat to listen in the morning. Baby was very active this morning moving and making all kinds of thumping sounds on the doppler. I cried for the first time in a long time while listening to the doppler. I can't believe we have made it here. I know there is still a long ways to go but I feel like this is a milestone worth celebrating. I also cried because I am the happiest I have been in a very long time and it breaks my heart that all of you are not experiencing the same happiness. I think about it a lot and I pray every single day that each and every one of you will be here someday soon.




I went back to my OB on Thursday. He wants to see me once a week until we get my blood sugar under control. He looked at my blood sugar log that I have been keeping and said that my blood sugar looks great except for in the morning when I wake up. It is higher than it is all day when I first wake up in the morning. It is supposed to be below 95 and mine ranges from 115 to 126. So, he said that since a fasting blood sugar cannot be affected by diet (because we don't eat in the middle of the night) he put me on insulin. I am to do one shot, 20 units, sub-q, in the evening after dinner. He seemed worried that I wouldn't be able to give myself a shot and I had to remind him that I was a fertility patient. So, I thought I was rid of shots, but alas I am still the human pincushion and probably will be throughout the rest of my pregnancy. The good thing is that my sugar doesn't seem to be affected by what I eat during the day and I can eat what I want as long as I avoid high sugar and massive carbs.

But now I have to tell you the funny thing that happened at my OB appointment. When they called me back they took me into a little room to weigh me and take my blood pressure. I thought this was strange since I was told I was there just for a consultation for my blood sugar. I have gained 1.5 lbs since my first OB appointment! Then the nurse sat me down and asked me when my last period was. I thought this was odd because clearly they already have this info but I told her April 9th (which is my made up day so no one gets confused about the IVF.) She looked at me funny and said "Are you taking any medications to keep you from having a period?" Huh? I was confused, I said "I'm pregnant." She looked at me like I was from mars. Then she looked at her chart and asked me my name. I told her and she laughed and told me that she thought I was another patient there for a pap! So then they took me back into the waiting room and called me again. This time I was put into the office to wait for the doctor. He came in, asked me how I was feeling and whipped out the doppler. I was still confused but whatever, so we listened to the baby's h/b which was 150. He felt my belly and said he could just feel my uterus coming above my pelvic bone (which I still cannot feel, am I missing something?) Then he told me all looked good and to make an appointment for 4 weeks. Again, I was confused. I asked wasn't I there to discuss blood sugar. He looked at my chart and said, yes you are, but they put you in under a routine OB appointment so I didn't know. Ahhhh! So, then we finally discussed my blood sugar which was the whole reason I was there to begin with. So, a visit that they told me would take 1/2 hour ended up taking an hour and a half. I have to go back on Friday to see how everything is going. I am now confused as to when my next actual OB appointment is because it was scheduled for next Wednesday, but since they already did one I'm not sure if I am still supposed to go or not. I will ask on Friday.

We went to our farmhouse in Western Maryland this weekend for the 4th. It was a pretty boring weekend over all as it rained the whole entire time! We went to an Amish furniture store and we found the crib and changing table that we want. This is the crib. We want to get it in a lighter wood to match the trim in our house. The crib converts from a crib to a toddler bed to a twin bed. We thought this would be great because then Doozer can use it all throughout his/her time at home. I don't have a picture of the changing table but it starts out as a changing table and can the be flipped over to a dresser. So neat! The quality of the wood is amazing! Much nicer than our bedroom set. It will cost us a tiny bit more than if we were to not get it custom made by Amish but we think it is worth it. We didn't order it now because I thought it was too early but when we go back in September we will order it.

Since our weekend at the farm was boring there isn't much to tell but I do have to tell you something funny that Dh's cousin asked me. I walked into the kitchen to be confronted by Dh's 6 year old cousin. The conversation went like this:

"Mo, I have a question."
"Sure, what is your question."
"Did you and Shawn get married again?"
"No, why?"
"Well then how did you get the baby in your belly if you didn't get married again?"
"Err..." I was temped to say the doctor put it there but I thought that might confuse her so I said, " God put it there."
"Oh, okay." Walks away...

He he. I thought it was a funny question and thought it was even funnier when I found out she asked Shawn first and he said, "Go ask your Mom."

Lastly, I have some very exciting news! I am going to be in the newspaper! I have been talking with a reporter for the Baltimore Sun who is doing a story on infertility bloggers. We had a photographer come to our house last night to take our pictures. Hopefully the article will be coming out shortly and I will definitely post a link when it comes out. I am thrilled that my story is going to make headlines and I hope that it helps to raise awareness about PCOS and infertility which is the whole reason I started this blog to begin with. I hope that one day people wont see infertility as a dirty little secret that should be ignored, but as a genuine medical condition that affects millions of people. So, look for the article to come out shortly!

Well, I think this update is long enough. I promise to update more often and I apologize for not commenting more often but I have had a busy week!