Hormonal Mo

Today I have been really antsy and grumpy. I think it is a combination of a lot of things. I am such an impatient person so all of this waiting and nothing happening is really hard for me. I feel like I have waited long enough already! I have taken 4 provera and will take two more tonight. By Sunday night I will be done the provera and I will just need to wait for AF to show up. Assuming she does, which she usually does after I take the provera, then I can schedule the dreaded HSG for CD 5-10. Then I will be calling my GYN and insisting on a prescription for some valium! That is the only way I can justify putting myself through something that was so painful the first time. I really wish I wasn’t such of a pessimist! I blame it on my mother. Yes Mom, I know you are reading and you and I both know that I got my pessimism from you! It is almost impossible for me to imagine that this will ever happen for me. I just can’t imagine myself having a baby. After all these years you would think that I would be able to imagine it but the fact that it has been ALL these years makes it seem less and less likely. But, then I tell myself to think logically (which I am usually pretty good at) and remember way back when I reached all of those other milestones in my life which I could never imagine doing. I remember when I was still in high school thinking that I couldn’t picture myself actually going to college, then I remember thinking that I couldn’t picture myself actually getting married and being a wife. Well, here I am, a college graduate (for what its worth) and happily married for five years to this most amazing man in the whole world (no, I’m not biased, its true!) I think part of my irritation today is probably also caused by the provera. Introducing more hormone into my body always makes me moody.

Shawn and I scheduled a mini vacation to Gettysburg for next weekend. We are staying overnight on Friday and spending all of Saturday there. I really, really, need a vacation, even if it is for a short time. I love Gettysburg in the fall and I cant wait to take a ghost tour!

I also found two interesting links I want to share:

The Visible Embryo is a visual guide through fetal development from fertilization through pregnancy to birth. This is a cool website! If we ever get pregnant I am sure I will using it a lot!

Making Baby the High-Tech Way: Click on the In vitro fertilization link at the top and it tells you a little about IVF.

So, that’s about it for me today. I have convinced myself that having a pumpkin spice latte after lunch will make it all better! We shall wait and see…

Confusion Continues..

I am really starting to wonder if the whole IVF experience is this confusing for other women or if it is just because I am dealing with an HMO. I called Shady Grove (my RE) and spoke to my nurse. I asked her about the doctor possibly writing me a prescription for a pain killer prior to the HSG. She said that they can do that. I then stated that obviously I need to take provera to bring on AF since I never get her on my own. I told her that my GYN had given me a huge bottle of provera to bring on AF every couple of months or so. She was surprised and said that I should really have a “no menses work-up” (AKA more blood tests) before I take provera on the off chance that I might possibly be pregnant. HA! I have heard this a million times, and I know that I have never ovulated on my own through this whole five year ordeal and I seriously doubt that I have this month either. So, I have decided on my own that I will take an HPT and start the provera on my own. I really do not want to get any more pointless blood tests that I have to pay for. Once the ole’ bat (AF) rears her ugly head I will call the doc and request a pain killer for my HSG. The HSG is done between day 7 and 10 of my cycle.

Not that I think any part of this experience is going to be fun but this part is really tedious. I am so tired of dealing with Kaiser, I just want to get on with the whole thing. I mean seriously, it seems like Kaiser does EVERYTHING at a snails pace. That is the worst part about IF in general, the waiting. It seems like that is all we ever do!

It never ends...

So, my GYN caleld yesterday, Kaiser denied our referral because they said we need more tests done. They said Shawn needs to do a semen analysis which we knew they might require. But, they also said that I need to get another HSG done. Now, let me tell you that three or four years ago when I got this test done it was the most painful thing I have EVER had done. I would get my gallbladder out again before I would get this test done if I had the choice. The last time I had it done I was in so much pain duing the procedure I ended up passing out and they had to stop the procedure early. For those of you that don't know what an HSG is here is the rundown:
Hysterosalpingogram (HSG)- an x-ray procedure performed to determine whether the fallopian tubes are open and to see if the shape of the uterine cavity is normal.
http://www.asrm.org/Patients/FactSheets/hsg.pdf
I honestly have no idea why it was so painful for me but my GYN said the pain could have been caused by a couple of things, spasyms in my tubes or blockage in my tubes. Lets hope it's number one. Not that blockage in my tubes would make a difference at this point considering I do not ovulate anyway, but she said sometimes if there is scarring in the tubes they will remove them prior to IVF. I really don't want to have to get another surgery so lets hope it is number one.
Honestly, yesterday I was kind of upset because I was ready to start and now we have to get more tests. Plus, I am obviously not looking forward to a procedure that caused me so much pain last time. But, I guess pain, both physical and emotional, are part of this journey. So here we go, making more appointments and the poking and proding continues...

Still Waiting...

So my GYN called yesterday to let me know that our referral is still being reviewed. She said we should know something this week. She said that they may deny it because they may require Shawn to do a SA. If they do we will do the SA and they should approve the referral. Either way, hopefully it won't be long. I also just remembered that the medication I am taking for my acid reflux is known to cause birth defects so I have to call my PCP and have him switch it to something else. Once we get the referral I will then start the first step which is 3 weeks of birth control so nothing exciting happening in the month of October. Keep checking back for updates...

Blood Test Results

I got my blood tests results today. They are as follows:
ESTRADIOL- 46.5
LH-20.4
PROLACTIN- 8.41
HEPATITIS C VIRUS AB, EIA QL- NEGATIVE
HEP B SURFACE AG- NEGATIVE
RPR- NONREACTIVE
TSH,BLD,QN- 1.220
FSH- 5.4
All of these results are normal so thats good! The doctor said she ut through my referral. Now it is all in Kaiser's hands. LOL, that is NOT very comforting.

Yard Sale

We had our last yard sale today to raise money for our IVF. It was hot and humid and somewhat rainy in the morning. By mid-day it had cleared up but was still really hot and humid. We did okay, we made $350, not as much as last time but still good. We are glad that we are done with the yard sales because they are a lot of work!!

Toe Friday

So, I injured my toe so badly that I thought I would need stiches, I needed to go to Kaiser to see my doctor to make sure I dadn't need stiches and for her to clean my wound. So Shawn and I stopped by the lab to get our blood work done while we were there. It was kind of cute in a strange sort of way. I got to sit next to Shawn and we had our blood drawn at the same time. Talk about a bonding moment! Of course, I have tiny veins and they always have trouble taking blood from me. Shawn has huge veins so they didn’t have any problems with him. Now were are just waiting on Kaiser to process the referral. I will call them in a week to make sure they are on top of things.