Well, the time has come for me to close this chapter of my life (infertility) and open a new chapter (mommyhood). I have started a new blog, which is NOT private, where I will blog about this next phase in my life. I have been waiting for a long time to say that I can finally put infertility behind me and now I can finally do just that. So what will the new blog be about? Me! My experiences as a mommy to Noah, my life outside of mommyhood, and how infertility continues to affect my daily life. I promise it will not be strictly about the baby but a lot of it will be. I hope that all of you will join me on the "other side" no matter what stage in the process you are in, but I understand if you cannot. See you there if you decide to join me!
Link to My New Blog
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Birth Story
Well, as you can see my little man decided to come a little early. Before I forget any of the details I wanted to record the birth story.
On Monday I did have some contractions throughout the day but nothing too bad. I did notice though that these contractions were also in my back when all of the ones I had been having previously were just an uncomfortable tightening in my belly. Monday evening I had some more contractions and Shawn and I decided to time them. They were about 7 minutes apart for a while but when I changed positions they went to 10 minutes apart, then 20 minutes apart and then they disappeared. So we went to bed. Shawn ended up getting up to go sleep on the couch around 1:00 a.m. because the cats were being noisy. All of a sudden I was awaken at around 1:30 a.m. by a huge gush of water. I knew right away that my water had broken, there was no mistaking it. I tried to call for Shawn because I was leaking everywhere but he didn't hear me so I had to get out of bed and go to the bedroom door where I called his name and told him my water broke. I went and sat on the toilet while Shawn brought me the phone and my insurance card because I had to call my doctor's office. That's when the contractions started, painful contractions which were coming almost one after another. We rushed around the house finishing packing our hospital bag. Shawn's parents met us at our house and we were off to the hospital. It is about a 40 minute drive to the hospital and the closer we got the more worried I got that we weren't going to make it. The contractions were coming fast, about every two minutes and I was in a lot of pain. By the time we got to the hospital it was around 3:00 a.m. Shawn took me in a wheelchair because there was no way I could walk. I had to wait in the lobby for a few minutes for them to bring me back to triage and I continued to have more contractions. They got me back to triage and had me change into a gown and asked me to give a urine sample. It was so hard to urinate because I was leaking fluid and had a tremendous amount of pressure down low. They got me into the bed and hooked me up to the monitors. By this time I was in excruciating pain and begging for an epidural. 
They told me they had to check me and get a bag of IV fluids in me before I could get the epidural. They checked me and they all seemed shocked that I was already 5 cm dilated. So they went ahead and admitted me. I told them that I was scheduled for a c-section because of the blood pressure and the diabetes and the fact that my doctor was convinced that my pelvis wasn't big enough to have a baby. They told me they were going to do an u/s and if the baby was head down we were going to try to proceed with a vaginal delivery. They did the u/s and baby was indeed head down so they moved me to a L&D room. I was in awful pain and still begging for the epi. Shawn had me working on my breathing (guess the childbirth class did come in handy after all.) By the time they were able to get me the epi I was already 7 cm dilated. I can't even begin to describe the pain of labor. It is like a really intense period cramp that also extends into your back and accompanied by an intense amount of pressure down below. I admire anyone who is able to go through labor without an epi but I had no desire to do so. I can honestly say that the pain was so bad I thought I was going to die. Once I got the epi it did make me feel better on the left side but I still felt the contractions on the right side. They came in again and adjusted it, still the right side wasn't working. At this point the nurse told me I was fully dilated and it was time to push but that the doctor didn't want me to push until she got there and she was still on her way, she also took the catheter out. She also said that the doctor recommended not increasing the epi anymore because it would make it impossible to feel anything to push. While we waited for the doctor I began to realize that I might actually have to push this baby out when I had been expecting a c-section. I was also not thrilled with still feeling the pain while having to push. When the doctor finally got there she checked me and said that while I was fully dilated there was still a small lip of the cervix still there. She had me push a few times to see if I could push past the lip but it wouldn't budge. So we waited another half hour and she checked me again. So we waited another hour and still the same, only then my cervix was starting to swell and so was the baby's head. It was then that the doctor decided to do the c-section. Within a half hour they upped the epidural, (sweet relief!) put back in the catheter, and took me back for the c-section. At this point I was just ready to get him out! The c-section is all a blur. I remember them scrubbing my belly and thinking it was so strange that I couldn't feel it at all. I remember Shawn coming back and sitting next to me. The anesthesiologist was great, he talked me through everything and made sure I was comfortable. I didn't feel a thing but a lot of pressure when they finally pulled him out. 
When I heard him cry it was the most amazing sound in the world! Of course I cried like a baby! Shawn followed him as they cleaned him up and checked his breathing. He was strong and healthy and needed no breathing assistance at all. I didn't get to see his face for like 10 minutes and I swear that was the longest 10 minutes of my life. Finally Shawn brought him over to me. I noticed right away how much he looks like Shawn. I still couldn't believe that he came out of me! They moved me to recovery and by that time I felt pretty awful. No pain but I had the shivers really bad, so bad that my muscles and my bones ached. I couldn't stop shaking no matter how hard I tried. So they took Noah to the nursery to feed him and give him his first bath and Shawn went with him. They wouldn't let me leave recovery until I was able to move my legs which took a while because of the amount of epidural I had. Finally they moved me to the room where I spent the next four days. Shawn stayed with me the whole entire time and slept right next to me. We finally got home on Friday after Noah's birth.
They told me they had to check me and get a bag of IV fluids in me before I could get the epidural. They checked me and they all seemed shocked that I was already 5 cm dilated. So they went ahead and admitted me. I told them that I was scheduled for a c-section because of the blood pressure and the diabetes and the fact that my doctor was convinced that my pelvis wasn't big enough to have a baby. They told me they were going to do an u/s and if the baby was head down we were going to try to proceed with a vaginal delivery. They did the u/s and baby was indeed head down so they moved me to a L&D room. I was in awful pain and still begging for the epi. Shawn had me working on my breathing (guess the childbirth class did come in handy after all.) By the time they were able to get me the epi I was already 7 cm dilated. I can't even begin to describe the pain of labor. It is like a really intense period cramp that also extends into your back and accompanied by an intense amount of pressure down below. I admire anyone who is able to go through labor without an epi but I had no desire to do so. I can honestly say that the pain was so bad I thought I was going to die. Once I got the epi it did make me feel better on the left side but I still felt the contractions on the right side. They came in again and adjusted it, still the right side wasn't working. At this point the nurse told me I was fully dilated and it was time to push but that the doctor didn't want me to push until she got there and she was still on her way, she also took the catheter out. She also said that the doctor recommended not increasing the epi anymore because it would make it impossible to feel anything to push. While we waited for the doctor I began to realize that I might actually have to push this baby out when I had been expecting a c-section. I was also not thrilled with still feeling the pain while having to push. When the doctor finally got there she checked me and said that while I was fully dilated there was still a small lip of the cervix still there. She had me push a few times to see if I could push past the lip but it wouldn't budge. So we waited another half hour and she checked me again. So we waited another hour and still the same, only then my cervix was starting to swell and so was the baby's head. It was then that the doctor decided to do the c-section. Within a half hour they upped the epidural, (sweet relief!) put back in the catheter, and took me back for the c-section. At this point I was just ready to get him out! The c-section is all a blur. I remember them scrubbing my belly and thinking it was so strange that I couldn't feel it at all. I remember Shawn coming back and sitting next to me. The anesthesiologist was great, he talked me through everything and made sure I was comfortable. I didn't feel a thing but a lot of pressure when they finally pulled him out. When I heard him cry it was the most amazing sound in the world! Of course I cried like a baby! Shawn followed him as they cleaned him up and checked his breathing. He was strong and healthy and needed no breathing assistance at all. I didn't get to see his face for like 10 minutes and I swear that was the longest 10 minutes of my life. Finally Shawn brought him over to me. I noticed right away how much he looks like Shawn. I still couldn't believe that he came out of me! They moved me to recovery and by that time I felt pretty awful. No pain but I had the shivers really bad, so bad that my muscles and my bones ached. I couldn't stop shaking no matter how hard I tried. So they took Noah to the nursery to feed him and give him his first bath and Shawn went with him. They wouldn't let me leave recovery until I was able to move my legs which took a while because of the amount of epidural I had. Finally they moved me to the room where I spent the next four days. Shawn stayed with me the whole entire time and slept right next to me. We finally got home on Friday after Noah's birth.The last two weeks have been crazy! Noah is such a good baby. He sleeps a lot, we still have to wake him up to eat and he sleeps all three hours in a row in between feedings. He rarely ever cries unless he is really hungry or unless he is naked. I am loving being a Mommy and it is just as amazing as I always dreamt it would be. I have so much more to say but my little man is fussing. I will hopefully post again soon. I will leave you with some pictures!! Be back soon!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Welcome Little Noah!!
Posted by hubby.
Well little Noah decided he was ready to come out and wanted to be here for Christmas. We tried to update earlier but the hospitals internet would not let us access our blogs or emails.
Noah was born December 23, 2008 at 11:13am! He weighed 7lbs 2.4 ounces and measured 19 3/4. He is adorable! We will post more pictures later but here is a sneak peak.
Both Mom and Noah are doing great and I'm so proud of them both.
I will give more updates about the birth and craziness that occurred, but first Mom and I must rest as we just got home and we are exhausted.
Well little Noah decided he was ready to come out and wanted to be here for Christmas. We tried to update earlier but the hospitals internet would not let us access our blogs or emails.
Noah was born December 23, 2008 at 11:13am! He weighed 7lbs 2.4 ounces and measured 19 3/4. He is adorable! We will post more pictures later but here is a sneak peak.
Both Mom and Noah are doing great and I'm so proud of them both.I will give more updates about the birth and craziness that occurred, but first Mom and I must rest as we just got home and we are exhausted.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Still Hanging in There (35w2d)
I'm surviving bed rest so far. I really have no clue how some of you did it so long! But I guess when you don't have much of a choice you do what you have to do. I'm bored, there is nothing good on TV during the day! I had another doctor's appointment today. My BP was 136/96. The top number went up quite a bit. Luckily there was no protein in my urine. So for now I am still at home and still on bed rest. Dr. checked me again and my cervix remains unchanged. They also did the GBS test and ordered a 24 hour urine and did some other blood work. NST was the same old same old, Noah passed with flying colors and I continued to have contractions. When I got home my OB called me. He called me to inform me that he had conferred with another doctor about my case and they decided that I will most likely be needing a c-section. He said there are four reasons why he thinks I will end up with a c-section: 1) The high blood pressure; 2) The diabetes; 3) When he examined me he noticed I have an extremely small pelvis, he said he could barely fit his fingers up there and when he pushed down on the baby he didn't move further into my pelvis like he should; 3) He says he thinks that the baby is breech. This last one is debatable for me because at my last u/s they said he was not breech. But he said with number one and two combined he doesn't feel comfortable letting me go to 40 weeks. So he scheduled a c-section for December 30th at 12:45 p.m. He said that if I happen to go into labor before then, which he doesn't think I will, then we can talk about a vaginal birth. He also told me that it is possible that if my blood pressure or blood sugars get worse that he may decide to do it earlier. So, the bottom line is that baby Noah will arrive no later than December 30, 2008. Only 2 weeks and a couple of days away! How do I feel about it? I'm not really sure. I went into this with no expectations about the birth, just to have a healthy baby. So while I am sad that I will probably never get to experience going into labor and delivering vaginally in the end it doesn't matter to me how he gets here. I am a bit sad that the doctor didn't seem to want to try an induction, assuming baby is not breech which I don't think he is. But he is the medical professional, and while I don't believe my doctors blindly I do trust him to make the right call for me and Noah. Shawn and I are going to make sure that we get everything done this weekend just in case they send me in early because of my BP. I really want Noah to "cook" a little longer though. I have to pack a hospital bag yet. It just doesn't seem real, that in a little more than 2 weeks we will have a baby. My next doctor's appointment will be on Tuesday. I probably wont be on again until then unless something happens in between now and then.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Bed Rest (35w0d)
Well, the good news is that I will have a lot more time to blog. The bad news is that my doctor put me on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. I really thought that those pesky contractions would be my demise but it turned out to be something totally different. The past couple times that I have been at the doctors my blood pressure has been slightly elevated. My baseline BP is usually kind of low and I have never had a problem with my BP. The past few times my bottom number has been in the 90s and they have told me that my BP was up from my normal BP. Yesterday my BP was 128/98. When my doctor saw how swollen my hands and feet were he declared that yesterday had to be my last day at work. He told me that I need to be at home, laying on my left side until baby comes. It was totally unexpected and I was a little upset. He also told me that if my BP got above 140/110 he would put me in the hospital. So obviously we are trying to avoid that. The bad news is that my "bed rest" time will be unpaid. My boss has given me a few things to take home that I can work on which should help me earn a little money. I also got a Christmas bonus yesterday which is equal to almost 2 weeks pay so that will help. The main thing is that I want baby to be healthy and I don't want to be in the hospital. I feel sorry for my husband because this leaves everything in his hands, earning the money, cooking, cleaning, and doing all last minute preparations. He of course is being amazing as always. I know we will get through it, some of you have been on bed rest much longer. I have another doctor's appointment on Friday and I have a few questions for the doctor that I didn't ask yesterday due to my surprise. I want to know if I will still be allowed to go to 40 weeks or if they will deliver early since I am on bed rest. I want to do what ever is best for the baby. Well, anyway, expect to hear a lot more out of me. I didn't sleep well last night so I am going to try to take a nap before my boss starts calling me. I'll be back!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Busy Bee (34w6d)
Yes, I have been a busy bee! I have missed blogging and am just now finding some time to sit down and type out a post.
***
The baby shower was great! It was so exciting to see so many people come to help us celebrate our little miracle. We had the shower at our church and we had over 60 people come! We got tons of great stuff! the only thing we didn't get was our swing. We also got enough cash and gift cards to purchase a changing table and a glider! Here are a few pictures. To see all the pictures you can go to our babysite (link in sidebar):
Like I said, there are many more pictures on our babysite so feel free to go on over and check them out.
***
Baby is doing fine. I had my second growth u/s at 33 weeks and he weighed 4 lbs 14 oz. The doctor told me he is exactly the average weight. So looks like our little monkey isn't going to be a porker after all! I did notice that his head and belly were measuring almost 36 weeks (I was 33 weeks) but his legs were only measuring 31 weeks. I hope he isn't going to be short like me! We could see his pudgy little cheeks and we even got to see that he has hair! Most importantly he is finally head down! We also had the tech confirm for a fifth time that he is a little boy. It still seems so surreal to me that there is an actual baby in there. And that God willing in a few weeks or so we will get to finally bring a baby home. Crazy! I'm finding myself more anxious that something will go wrong the closer it gets. I'm guessing these are normal feelings, especially after IF. I want him to be healthy so bad. I'm also terrified of becoming a mother. I know nothing about babies, the only thing I have ever "mothered" is our cats. But I guess it is something that you learn. I have had 5 NSTs so far and Noah has passed them with flying colors! I have failed all of them (see below for more on that.) I have also noticed that Noah is having the hiccups about 4 times a day. Poor little baby! He even has them during my NSTs sometimes. Too cute!
***
I have been feeling pretty good up until about two weeks ago. I was just bragging about how great I feel. Over the past two weeks or so I am feeling totally exhausted again. I am also feeling a lot of pressure down low, especially when I walk or stand. I have also been having some contractions during my NSTs which causes them to keep me on the monitor for an hour each time (thought these things were only supposed to be 40 minutes?) I have only been having about 5 or 6 contractions an hour but they are not in a regular pattern. They have done an internal each time and I was not dilating until my last NST/internal on Friday. He told me I was dilated to 1 cm! I wasn't dilated just two days before so he sent me home from work on the off chance that the contractions I was having during the NST were causing me dilate. I had contractions all day Friday and was starting to worry when they finally let up in the evening. I rested all day on Saturday and the tried to resume my normal activities on Sunday and the contractions started again. It seems that when I walk of stand for even a little while they start up again. The thing is, I am confused about whether they are BH or the real thing. They are slightly painful but not bad at all, the tightening stops me in my tracks though. My hands are now starting to swell and I have begun to suffer from what I guess is carpal tunnel. My fingers on my right hand are numb and my wrist hurts. The swelling in both hands makes my knuckles hurt really bad and makes it hard to do much with my hands.
I feel like such a lazy bum! I am so busy at work that when I get home I am exhausted and do nothing but lay on the couch. Shawn has been so great! He is trying really hard to do what I ask, although I know I am picky and hard to deal with sometimes. I am so blessed to have him as a husband and I know he will be a great Dad!
All in all, I am blessed to be where I am and I will never ever forget it. I will also never forget all of you still in the trenches. I think about you often and keep you in my prayers. I know the holiday season can be hell on earth for someone going through IF. Remember, I was there for quite a few years. My advice, do what you have to do to get through it. Don't do anything that makes you miserable. Take this time to think about yourself first. This may not be what most would tell you but sometimes you have to be selfish.
Well, it's back to work for me. I have another Dr's appt and NST at 10:45 today so lets see if I can manage to NOT be sent home from work!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Pictures & Such (31w4d)
Hello there! If anyone is actually still checking my blog I would be surprised! But, I do have a good excuse! Work has been insane. We have a huge case going on right now with depositions back to back which has kept me extremely busy and exhausted when I get home. I usually have enough energy to have dinner and then fall asleep. The good news is that it is making time fly, the bad news is that I haven't been eating properly which is making my blood sugars not so great and that I have been swelling a lot. At my latest doctors appointment (on Thursday- 31w1d) I was measuring at 34 weeks! So I have to schedule another growth u/s to make sure the little bugger isn't getting too big. Baby Noah is doing great, moving around like crazy. Sometimes his movements are so strong I feel like he is trying to bust out of my belly! I think he is lying transverse right now but I was assured he has some time to move into position so I wont worry quite yet. I will also be seeing the doctor every week from here on out and will begin seeing them twice a week soon. I will also be starting the NSTs next week. I'm just hoping Noah cooperates and passes the NST.
We also started our childbirth classes. We have had two classes so far and for the most part it is stuff I already knew. We do get to spend some time practicing relaxation techniques every class which involves me laying on the mat with pillows and Shawn giving me a massage! That is my favorite part of the class. On Monday we did the hospital tour I am so glad we did. Out hospital is awesome! The labor/delivery room is really nice! It looks like a hotel room and even has a flatscreen tv! The postpartum room is even nicer and also looks like a hotel room. We even got to peek into the nursery and saw some newborn cuties! The hospital was nothing like I expected it to be. I expected it to be stark and white like you see on tv. The lighting is low and it has wood floors and wallpaper on the walls. Very nice, modern, and relaxing.
Now on to the pictures! My FIL painted my belly for Halloween:
We had a small family shower last Sunday and we got some of our big items for our nursery. My Mom got us a dresser and the travel system, MIL & FIL got us the crib, and we also received our bedding set! You can see the complete collection of pictures by visiting our babysite (link in the sidebar.)
And here is the finished product. (Yes, I realize there is a cat in the picture, but in our house, our kitties are always in our business so it is rare to take a picture without them somewhere in the picture.)
Here is Shawn putting together the dresser.
We also started our childbirth classes. We have had two classes so far and for the most part it is stuff I already knew. We do get to spend some time practicing relaxation techniques every class which involves me laying on the mat with pillows and Shawn giving me a massage! That is my favorite part of the class. On Monday we did the hospital tour I am so glad we did. Out hospital is awesome! The labor/delivery room is really nice! It looks like a hotel room and even has a flatscreen tv! The postpartum room is even nicer and also looks like a hotel room. We even got to peek into the nursery and saw some newborn cuties! The hospital was nothing like I expected it to be. I expected it to be stark and white like you see on tv. The lighting is low and it has wood floors and wallpaper on the walls. Very nice, modern, and relaxing.
Now on to the pictures! My FIL painted my belly for Halloween:
We had a small family shower last Sunday and we got some of our big items for our nursery. My Mom got us a dresser and the travel system, MIL & FIL got us the crib, and we also received our bedding set! You can see the complete collection of pictures by visiting our babysite (link in the sidebar.)Here is Shawn putting together the travel system.
And here is the finished product. (Yes, I realize there is a cat in the picture, but in our house, our kitties are always in our business so it is rare to take a picture without them somewhere in the picture.) Here is Shawn putting together the dresser.
And he also had a little helper.
And here is the finished product with some random stuff on top.
Here is the crib.
And here is the crib with the bedding! So cute!
The nursery is far from complete. We still have all of the little decorative items which we will receive at our big shower this Saturday. We are so excited! Like I said, there are many more pictures on our babysite so head on over and check it out!
The chances of me being able to post before the weekend is slim. After this week the "big case" should settle down and hopefully things will be back to normal soon. If I don't post before Saturday I guarantee I will be back with lots of lovely pictures from the shower!
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