Hormonal Mo

Today I have been really antsy and grumpy. I think it is a combination of a lot of things. I am such an impatient person so all of this waiting and nothing happening is really hard for me. I feel like I have waited long enough already! I have taken 4 provera and will take two more tonight. By Sunday night I will be done the provera and I will just need to wait for AF to show up. Assuming she does, which she usually does after I take the provera, then I can schedule the dreaded HSG for CD 5-10. Then I will be calling my GYN and insisting on a prescription for some valium! That is the only way I can justify putting myself through something that was so painful the first time. I really wish I wasn’t such of a pessimist! I blame it on my mother. Yes Mom, I know you are reading and you and I both know that I got my pessimism from you! It is almost impossible for me to imagine that this will ever happen for me. I just can’t imagine myself having a baby. After all these years you would think that I would be able to imagine it but the fact that it has been ALL these years makes it seem less and less likely. But, then I tell myself to think logically (which I am usually pretty good at) and remember way back when I reached all of those other milestones in my life which I could never imagine doing. I remember when I was still in high school thinking that I couldn’t picture myself actually going to college, then I remember thinking that I couldn’t picture myself actually getting married and being a wife. Well, here I am, a college graduate (for what its worth) and happily married for five years to this most amazing man in the whole world (no, I’m not biased, its true!) I think part of my irritation today is probably also caused by the provera. Introducing more hormone into my body always makes me moody.

Shawn and I scheduled a mini vacation to Gettysburg for next weekend. We are staying overnight on Friday and spending all of Saturday there. I really, really, need a vacation, even if it is for a short time. I love Gettysburg in the fall and I cant wait to take a ghost tour!

I also found two interesting links I want to share:

The Visible Embryo is a visual guide through fetal development from fertilization through pregnancy to birth. This is a cool website! If we ever get pregnant I am sure I will using it a lot!

Making Baby the High-Tech Way: Click on the In vitro fertilization link at the top and it tells you a little about IVF.

So, that’s about it for me today. I have convinced myself that having a pumpkin spice latte after lunch will make it all better! We shall wait and see…